Officer, It Wasn't Me

So, there was I, Christmas Eve, exchanging two dollars for three hot dogs at a gas station at 9:25 PM. It was shortly after that the red and blue lights flashed. Elder Smithson nervously laughed as he drove us to a curb to await his fate. The officer wastes no time as he slips his way on down to Smithson's window, asking for his license.

Transfer emails have arrived. I will be staying, 2nd training a man named Elder Larsen. Elder Herem is off to work in a ward right next to Cheney. I'll miss him, but he's off to bigger and better things. Meanwhile, I still get my sweet apartment and car and ward. Whoo! 

This week was a bit of a slower one in terms of work. I guess that a lot of people have come down with a disease which has you periodically swap places with your bed and your toilet. Not sure why 5 different people at church informed me of this, but most of the people we work with have it. Anyways, Elder Muir came down with this sickness on Sunday, so I was told at 6:45 AM that I had about 10 minutes to get ready for the day and go to 8 1/2 hours of church. It wasn't so bad! Though towards the end of the day, I was almost delirious from fatigue, it was a blast! Many people excitedly shook my hand and welcomed me to the ward I was visiting. They even had me offer the closing prayer in sacrament. Wow. The highlight of the day was definitely when my favorite investigator, the 10 year old girl finally came to church! She came on the perfect day. We got to conduct singing time in primary. We had a blast, singing about Jesus wanting us to be sunbeams and being what we believe. The kids loved us! So that's about all the shareable stuff in regards to that stuff!

Boy oh boy. The other Elders set up an entire baptism and had me interview the guy the day before. I show up and find out that this man isn't actually eligible to be baptized, since he lived in the same house as his fiance! Dang. I break the news, and he just shrugs. We follow him out the door to his neighbors house, who grants him permission to sleep at his house for the next couple months. Like what? So anyways, this guy I've taught a couple times just got baptized! I was then asked to help confirm him at church the next day. He might as well be one of my converts.

Things are just really good these days. We have lots of work to do and some wonderful people to help. It's cold, but it's not that bad! We've been performing miracles left and right. I got to dedicate the sister missionaries brand new house, and I've never been able to do that before. It was cool to actually feel noticeably better directly afterwards. I've got my great family and a couple friends to talk to, each day the sun is setting later, and God's love is shining through. That's about all I've got to talk about this week. 
Wait..

So anyways, this cop just slips his way over, explaining he followed for about a mile and we never had our back lights on. He let Elder Smithson off with a warning, then let him take a selfie with him! Like what?? Then he proceeds to accept a Book of Mormon. What???

One of the very few times we can play card games!

Awesome member mom made my request of 12 layer jello!

All things Rudolph

This Little Piggy Went to the Market

Hello hello, its Christmas tomorrow and snow is all around. I'm half asleep and it smells amazing in my apartment. Anyways. I'm not accusing myself of being good at introductions.

So it rained a ton this week, so things at our lovely pig farm were quite hectic. Most places had flooded, and the pigs had quickly learned to stay away from the ice so they don't fall in. We had a rather good time, feeding animals and fixing things cleaning up garbage, despite it being really cold. I'm mildly sore from throwing pallets all over the place. We created multiple pallet paths for the pigs to walk on and also for bales of hay. It took a long time, but we set up some perfect things and were finally able to leave. That night, we heard that some pigs had babies! If we hadn't done all the prep work we did, the babies would have drowned as soon as they were born. It made me feel really good inside because we didn't even know babies were coming. I've included a picture of the litter as well as me holding one, camouflaged into my black hoodie.

Last week, we were able to obtain a new investigator, the one Elder Herem was very awkward with. It's been great getting to teach her and meet her better. We were able to have yet another powerful lesson with her on the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm pleased to announce that she is now on date to be baptized in February! Whoo! Haha, no one has seen Elder Herem happier than I have!

One evening, we had set up to teach a new convert who had moved into our ward (kind of). He's this 10 year old boy who really loves fortnite (some video game that came out after I left). This is about his only care in the world, and nothing else interests him. We sit down to have our lesson and we find out that his dad is also extremely anti social, and so was the member fellowshipper we brought. We very painfully staggered through the lesson. It was incredibly awkward and nothing we did could get the kid to sit up or take his face out of his hands, and we couldn't get the adults to say more than a few words. I suppose that being away from my own family in the Christmas season combined with lack of sleep and a few other things contributed to my emotional death shortly after. I became a broken man. We had to go back to the apartment and listen to a motivational talk while I sipped a glass of milk on the floor for like 7 minutes before I felt even a bit of my life return to me. It was rough, but I strapped on my big boy pants and we went back to the grind.

We got to teach one of our investigator families this week. They are among my favorites ever. They hail from the Caruk tribe. They taught us a ton of native American history and I felt so blown away as well as sad and mad at the past. They told us that they really do enjoy our message and can feel the spirit, but they have been taught to avoid organized religion because white pastors are the ones who murdered and stole their land back hundreds of years prior. I did my best to express my admiration and appreciation for them as members of the Caruk tribe. We then watched the Mormon Message "music of the gospel" to show them that we are different, and we are the Church of Jesus Christ, and that they don't have to give up any of their heritage to join the church. Now, with the immense studies I've done the last few days, I'm ready to go back and share more incredible things, especially how the Book of Mormon was written specifically for them and how God loves them. I can't wait. 

Last evening, I was whisked away from my area to go give a baptism interview. I guess I wasn't expecting to be antied? But the candidate for baptism whips out his health book which shows how green tea is important. The other elder face-palmed his head off in a "here we go again" type deal. I guess miracles happen when you have the spirit at your side! I took this man all through the Bible, explaining Law of Moses type stuff and how pork is healthy, but they were asked to abstain from it. Then I took him to modern times, talking about how the world and health books tell you it's perfectly healthy and recommended to have sexual relations frequently even as a teenager. He was appalled. I then taught him about sacrifice and how God loves us, and when we are willing to sacrifice things like our time so we can go to church, or our money for tithing, or our tea or so on, God will bless us forever. He was just confounded and gave in. Haha. My man is being baptized this Saturday. I was pleased to find out that in my absence, Elder Herem was on the grind and tracted into two new investigators! Wow! That's my son, everyone! 

That's about it for notable stuff this week. My last thing that I'd like to say is, let's try and remember the birth of Jesus Christ the entire year, not just in December. He's a big deal, you know! So don't get mad at me for wearing my nativity tie in June. Have a great Christmas, and don't take His name out of it! 

Eat on the run

Little Piggy in my jacket

My Nativity Tie

Two Double Yolks in One Week

What a spiritual week, just loaded to the brim with enough contents to splash over with the slightest move! Hit the deck, gird up your loins and prepare every needful thing, for here we go!

So. I mean, I guess this isn't quite the paragraph you'd expect after an introduction like that, but what can I say? So there was I, about two days into my cold when I get roped into saving the other Elders backs by going on splits when I was seated in the home of a very nice old man. This guy is the stuff of legends. Many a tale of him had reached my ears since I live with the other Elders. I was not disappointed. The dinner was the stuff of legends, complete with one of those 7-up cakes, home made, I might add. So anyways, I thought for sure that we were in the clear until the man saw me blow my nose. At that point, my fate was sealed. He gleefully ran to his room and came back with a mysterious liquid. He tells me to lay down, so I get on the ground. "This here is liquid silver. You see, when you zap silver with 30 volts of electricity, it is reduced to a silver form. I'm going to drop an entire syringe of silver down each of your nostrils." Boy, let me tell you, I was not prepared for that. But it was too late. Precious metal was already sliding straight down the hatch. I sneezed so much the rest of that day. He insisted that if he didn't do that, I would be much sicker. So... there's that. 

We got to have an apostle from the 70 come to our mission! I was pretty excited since I hadn't been able to meet anyone from the church, except for Elder Cook who I briefly saw in the MTC. It was very fascinating to hear Elder Whiting speak to us with extreme power and authority. He is one of the most bold men I've ever met. We learned so much more about the prophet and mission of the church and stuff from him. He taught me some very important things that I believe I will treasure for a long time, perhaps the rest of my life. 

One of them is the doctrine of forgiveness. He said that in order to learn forgiveness, you have to be seriously offended or hurt by something. This has helped me understand Jesus Christ even more. It certainly isn't an easy thing, but because of His help, I know we can forgive anyone for anything. I really appreciated him speaking of that. Most of us likely have a grudge or two, but continuing to labor in anger is like stabbing a knife into yourself and then saying "I hope this hurts you!" True forgiveness offers true healing. 

Another thing that he taught me that I really liked comes in the form of a question. "If God truly loves me, why does He let me suffer?" He shared with us some amazing experiences which are too much to me to share. To give a short answer, it is to give us experiences which enable us to become more like Him. He let's us suffer because He loves us. A God who doesn't care would flip a switch which granted our every desire and then leave us. Our God loves us and is doing everything to create more of us than we could ever create of ourselves. 

We received our first referral in quite a while this week. We just moseyed our way down town and knock on the door, and out comes a confused older woman, not really sure of who we were. Elder Herem had the daunting task of talking to her to get us in. It was comical to watch him stumble around left and right and watch her growing confused face. He looked at me in panic, but he is too far along in his training to be rescued! Haha. So after like two minutes of just weird dialogue and nervous laughter from Elder Herem, she says, "Alright, you can come in." We had to go grab a neighbor, but then we came in and taught her a pretty powerful lesson on the plan of salvation. She loved it so much that we were invited back later! Sweet! That is something I like about the truly prepared people. It doesn't matter what manner of things you say at their door, if God prepares them, they will receive you! Elder Herem was in awe. That man is getting so good, I love it.

We had many people promise us this week that they would come to church. We were thoroughly disappointed when not a single one of them kept their promise to us. One of the members noticed and told us that she still thought we are really good missionaries, and just because we can't see the fruit of our labors doesn't mean that we aren't doing amazing. It is a bit discouraging at times, but I really appreciated her wise words. After all. Abinidi never saw for sure if Alma was converted, and Ammon didn't even get to be there where King Lamoni's father took the missionary lessons. 

This email is getting a bit long, I'll have to end it off here. That's too bad, there's even more stuff! I'll just sum it up. I got two double yolkers in a week! That's three total this transfer. I am having a really great time this winter. I actually had a little bit of fun when there was snow on the ground, and I'm finding myself still smiling all the time. Winter has been a very depressing time of year for me since like junior high. This is the first time since then that I've truly enjoyed it. Miracles are abound. Though I still sleep like garbage every night, we are surrounded in good. It's the best. 

Double Yolker!

Ready for Christmas with a fresh haircut

Waiting ...

Double Yolker

Did somebody say cold? Because the sky dandruff has struck the ground, freezing it to the point that it can't be penetrated easily for building a fence. And then, I was smitten with an actual cold, so here am I, coughing and sneezing in the name of the Lord. But what else is new? Let's get to the good stuff.

We have a returning less active family that we teach every Monday evening. There is usually a cute lil 5 year old girl who just loves having us over. Last Monday, her mother was finally home and decided she might as well sit in on our lesson of the Plan of Salvation. She quickly became interested and began asking many questions. Keep in mind, if you're not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, you don't have a belief of a pre earth life, you pretty much have no idea why we are here and you have little to no idea of what happens when we die. She was very excited to have us back a few days later. We then took her on one of my personal best church tours which was very powerful. She then ended our sweet tour by telling us she can't make it to church tomorrow because the less active member needed her help for something. Dang! Next week. 

This area does a living nativity every other year, and it's pretty neat. The people get to walk around and see live sheep and cows and then a freezing Joseph and Mary, lovingly watching over their fake baby Jesus. The Nativity ends in a tent where they are taken through the life of Jesus Christ, ending with his ministry in the Americas. A lot of people seemed to not like that part, but a lot of people were also very interested. We stood at the end of the walk through at a table, full of the goods. I've never handed out a Bible before, but I got to hand out 4 Bibles and 19 Book of Mormons! These weren't just lame hand outs either, they were all to people who genuinely wanted to learn. I enjoyed answering people's questions and helping them learn more. It was very funny to see a German and Ukrainian teenager come up and ask, "So you say, Jesus came to America, too?? Wow!" Haha. Those two guys were super great. It was overall a really great experience, despite my legs wanting to slay me after standing in place for several hours.

The other Elders in our apartment halted our missionary work for a while. On three occasions, they scheduled themselves more than they could handle on accident, and so they begged and pleaded for our help. We left our area to help them each time. My favorite was on a day I was much too tired to make and eat dinner. We went over to a home and they had one extra steak which they excitedly pawned off to me. We then started to answer the questions of a man who attends one of the corrupted churches around here. I guess that they preach a bunch of anti stuff about our church, so we cleared up all of it. The comical thing to me was, I was actually able to use most of the anti points their church teaches against themselves while using the Bible to validify our church's teaching. I had to tell myself to stop ripping into his church. He said that he will gladly come to ours now, so that's awesome. The other Elder I went on splits for it was in awe at the end, saying that what I had accomplished was more than he and his companion in over a month. Ha, thanks, Holy Ghost. 

So we've got a general authority named Elder Whiting coming to town even quicker than Santa Claus. The mission president's wife called us up on Friday and asked if we would be willing to play some serious tunes for this man on Tuesday. This was pretty stressing to me, because the piano is always harder than the violin. It took a day, but we got some people to give us some music. We spent quite a while working to get the song really good. Sunday rolls around and we get a call, telling us that they don't need us to play anymore. How sad. Elder Herem was actually very disappointed. Then, a couple hours later, they call again telling us that they might as well just let us play anyways. So, I mean, here we are on Monday afternoon, less than a day left and the song isn't ready. May the grace of God be bestowed upon my poor little fingers. I don't know how this keeps happening to me, but I recall I had similar situations multiple times last year. #PrayForRuth

The Members are supposed to be having us over every evening at 8 PM. On one such evening, we found ourselves in the home of a couple where both were recently returned missionaries. We sat down in front of them when a sly idea crossed my mind. I asked them if they would instead teach us the lesson. They sheepishly looked at each other and agreed. Though it wasn't a perfect lesson, they both seemed to really enjoy it. Then, the guy gave a talk in Sacrament meeting and he talked about how amazing it was for him to once again teach, and this time with his eternal companion. It made me feel good inside to hear the outcome of my sly idea. 

So that's about all of the goods worth sharing for this week. Also, I have included a picture which is very remarkable. I have spent my entire mission in the pursuit of a double yoked egg. It is a super rare thing, but my trainer once got two in the same batch of scrambled eggs. I always freak out when I hear someone else get it, and then one day, God smiled upon me and bestowed it right in my frying pan. Behold, the picture attached at the bottom!! 

• 

Lights in our apt

At the Nativity

3 Dollars and 24 Cents

Elder Herem has been complaining about feeling sick lately. I'm not saying that I'm right, but I did tell him he'd get some disease for kissing a llama on the lips. The proof is the background picture on his phone.

So anyways, this was another good one. Just foggy as all get out. It really is mystical. The sound is muffled and it can attain pitch black if there isn't a street light near. It's perfect weather for stumbling upon a dead body! We found a beheaded chicken in the depths of Deer Park, and the attacker was nowhere to be seen.

Elder Herem is becoming more like me every week and I am becoming incredibly amused. He's a bit timid in door approaches, but on one of these foggy nights, some man opens up and he is not happy to see Elder Herem. He starts to spew all this anti Mormon stuff and I thought Elder Herem would panic. Instead, he kinda puffs out his chest and begins dragging this man to the depths of tartarus with his shield of faith and sword of the spirit. I decided I might as well join in with my broadsword, and together, we finished him. This man was caught in a stupor and couldn't think of anything else he tried to search up one day, so he threw up his flag of truce and retreated inside his apartment. Not that fighting anti is the goal, but I was so proud of Herem for standing up for himself. 

We have a few old ladies we have been hoping to teach. We just haven't been able to go in. One of our ward missionaries came in clutch and we got into two of their homes. We then taught some powerful lessons and set them as new investigators. It was pretty sweet getting two new people in one evening. We're headed back to one of them this evening. Stay tuned, boys. 

We had a day of service on Saturday. Most of the people around here are too prideful to accept help, so we fell into the trusty hands of the pig farm person! Whoo! Spent 5 and a half hours there doing various farm work. It was pretty tough, moving bales of hay around and lifting metal and grains and all manner of stuff. One of the toughest things was when we trapped some pigs in an alley. One ran straight at me and I grabbed it by the back foot. The other charges to save its friend. I dodged it's gaping jaws and snatched it hardcore. I then had a pig in either hand, threatening to dislocate both of my arms at the same time by trying to run behind me. It was extremely tough, but I held them in place for what seemed like years before relief aid came and grabbed one from me. They had to tell me what hand to let go because it was so intense. Haha. First time getting a two for one. I wasn't lying either, Herem legitimately kissed a llama on the lips. I got to play with bunnies, caught many pigs, built a fence and fed a cow yogurt. It was a lot of fun, but that evening, I fell asleep shortly after coming home. Now If only I could stay asleep the entire night.

We started teaching one of our new people from last week and her 29 year old daughter joined in the lesson. It was one of our more powerful ones, just loaded with the spirit. Both of them really enjoyed the lesson and now seem to be rather promising. What made it even better was after the lesson when they said that they were about to go out Pokemon-ing. I got into Pokemon go just before I left to serve, so I had a blast talking to them about all their adventures and cool ones they've caught. I guess it's still really popular out here in Deer Park. I never see people outside, but I dunno! Maybe we can have our new person fill us in on where a raid battle will be so we can happen to be there right after a fight ;) we will see.


I guess I don't have too much else to say. Christmas is coming. Thanks to the 3 dollars and 24 cents we collectively had, we bartered for a large number of Christmas lights and our apartment is beautiful. Mom bought me a sweet little Christmas tree and it has lil decorations. Nemo is happily enjoying my happy light most days. One family gave us a bunch of Christmas things that were going to be donated. Due to all of this, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 🎵

We love dinner!

Christmas is coming

Oh Foggy Night, the Stars are Dully Shining

Well, I'll be darned. So, your trainer as an Elder is referred to as your Dad. Then, your first companion outside of training is referred to as your Mom. My Mom and my Dad are the Assistants to the President this transfer. I am no longer scared of the "AP"'s! Yes! 

This week contained one of my personal favorite holidays, Thanksgiving! Yes! But as a missionary, it's not super grand. Everyone cancels or just can't meet with you because they are getting ready for Thanksgiving or something. That being said, we did not wreck our shoes this week, going out on the grind hardcore (but work still did occur!). We were given permission to play board and card games on Thanksgiving day. I haven't played any games since the day I left, September 6th 2017. We went to a members home who had a violin and a piano, and they knew of our abilities. We played them a nice happy song. Then, I took the dad aside. "So, uh... we've been given permission to play card games, and I haven't played in almost 15 months." He warmly agreed, and then we played games with their family for over three hours. It was awesome, and I was so glad to have this tender mercy bestowed upon me. Too bad they didn't have the game "cover your assets", because they would have been annihilated. 

It has been foggy like no man's business lately. It's super odd because it's just not something I experienced back in Utah. We can see about 30 feet ahead of us at night time when we are driving. It's made for some interesting times, like the time we almost ran over the first wild porcupine I've ever seen. It is also something that I've found can be used to our advantage! People seem to be a lot nicer in these foggy nights. Last night, we had two hours to go out and find people. We drove far into the depths and knocked on a nice happy inactive family we didn't know about. They were a lot of fun to visit with. Well, we think they're inactive. They don't come to our ward. Who even knows. But then we traversed through the foggy night and found our way at one of those homes with huge driveways and no trespassing signs. But, it was such a nice happy home with its Christmas lights and everything, so you better believe we slopped our way right on over to his doorstep. After slapping our hand flesh upon that splintery door, a happy old man invited us right in. I was extremely surprised, receiving such luck two times in a row. Not only did he invite us in, but he sat through a mini restoration of the gospel lesson and then accepted a Book of Mormon and committed to read a chapter with Christ, despite hearing negative things about the book his whole life. We then set a return appointment after listening to 45 minutes of stories from his incredible life. What a great guy, and what a tender mercy!

If you know me pretty well, you'd know that I love to smell things. An incredible date for me could be having a meal and then going to Hobby Lobby to smell all the candles! Whoo! So when we went to Walmart in Colville, we came across these wonderful "totems", if you will, which spew divine scents into the air every 9 minutes. I bought one and then also grabbed three different scents, and our apartment has smelled like the celestial kingdoms bigger brother ever since. Boyz!!

I guess I don't have all that much more to say for this week. So here is a nice thought. If you lived in Jerusalem in the same time as Jesus, what would you do? Would you follow Him? Would you listen to His words? Or would you be content saying, "I live in the same city! It's awesome. He died for me." I believe if you lived in his time, you would go to Him every time He talked to groups of people, that you would listen to His words and try to follow Him, and do everything you can to show you love Him. Well, if you would have done that back then, what is stopping you from doing it now? John 14:21 "He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him."

Quick Elder!  Make a face!

Cat Scarf

Have you come to play?

Bye Son!

Slap me twice, transfer week is already here! I am devastated at the loss of my friend Elder Thorne. He will be extremely missed, being a true friend to me. I still remain with my son, being able to fully train him. Elder Muir also stays, being companions with a relatively new Elder none of us know. I also have reason to believe my first son has departed to the land of Madagascar finally! How exciting. 

Well. Deer Park certainly isn't a place I'd live, but things are picking up significantly around here, so I'll take being here another transfer. Why not? I get to keep my beautiful new apartment and Rav4. Should be good, boys.

So last P day, we joined a bunch of 18 year old guys for some serious two hand touch football. I quickly obtained for myself the nickname "Megatron". This whole time, I thought they were calling me one of those big TV screens at a movie theater?? I guess he is just some insane pro football player who just wrecks. That's nice. I did get some sweet plays in, for sure! It was just more running than any of us had done in a while. We hobbled around like old men with osteoporosis for a few days after that. 

That evening, we split and I was with Elder Thorne, visiting his favorite member family. There were a bunch of the people we played football with. We decided to share a lesson on the gospel of Jesus Christ. Little did I know that we were dealing with a Jehovah's Witness and some non denominational Christians. I tend to be more bold when with members, and so I started wrecking all other religions by saying something along the lines of, "to have faith in Jesus Christ is to not only believe in Him but to follow His footsteps. We can't just say a prayer to accept Him into our hearts and then lead an entire life of sin, forgetting all about Him and then expect to be saved at the last day." We continued on and the kids got more uncomfortable until we asked them where they came from before they were born here. That's when I found out they weren't actually members. I initially felt bad for my boldness until I remembered something important. I am a missionary of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I am not ashamed of Him. The devil would have us to sit back and remain in confusion to be politically correct. I am helping to gather His lost sheep, and in order to do that, I have to bring the true restored gospel back to the world! So we finished up the lesson and the spirit was present the whole time. Only time will tell if their hearts were touched. It's a lot easier to believe in a God and a Jesus Christ who require nothing of us, but a religion which requires nothing never has the power sufficient produce the faith unto salvation and life eternal.

We got to go have fun at the pig farm place again this week! Since Elder Thorne was on exchanges, I was the pig strategist. A good number of piglets had somehow squeezed through the fence, and don't ask me how, but one of the fattest lards this size of anywhere hopped a three foot fence surrounded in mud. It wasn't as easy because the other Elders are all city boys (not to say that I wasn't raised in a city, I just adapt well.) So they had a hard time helping me. After about an hour, I somehow managed to catch six pigs and the visiting Elder caught one. Before one of these attempts, I was standing on a pallet, getting ready to climb a fence. A sudden exertion of energy broke the board underneath me and my left foot painfully fell through. I honestly believed three of my toes were broken. My ankle was bruised and I had scratches everywhere. I groaned for a minute, and we continued on. I have sustained no major injury. I also had a standoff with a llama I wont talk about. Lastly, there is a goose which is always threatening to attack us. I usually chase it away. This day, I pursued it and chased it about 50 yards before it just plopped on the ground. I guess I tired it out and so it needed a breather. I picked it right up and took a picture! Whoo!

Boys, Elder Ruth's dreams are coming true! I finally get to teach an entire family. At least, the ones which are home! We've got the mom, a 20 year old and a 15 year old. We had the great chance of teach them the plan of salvation. It was one of the most spiritual lessons I have ever taught, as demonstrated by Elder Herem who got hyper off of too much spirit. Haha. It was an incredible one. I'm proud of him for getting so good so quickly. The family loved the lesson a lot! And so the three plus two young kids made their way to church this week. We had 4 people at church this week, which is a pretty big deal for us. Because of how well they took the lesson and their commitment keeping, I'll have Elder Herem put them on date tomorrow evening. Whoo! In other news, we also recently put our 18 year old new investigator on date. We're about to have 5 people on date, which is pretty unheard of for Deer Park. Things are happening and I like it.

So, yesterday, Elder Muir was sick. I'm not sure exactly why, but when someone gets sick, I am usually the one to stay behind and look over them. #DoctorRuth. So Elder Herem and Thorne went to 8 hours of church and like 4 lessons! Haha! Elder Muir was in bed almost the entire day. I was like, "Well. I could take a nap. But. Since I'm not doing anything important today, I don't have to be fully awake!" I went on a rampage. Not that our apartment was dirty, but I cleaned it to the max while listening to four different Hank Smith talks. I gathered all the trash, even the clutter in the other Elder's room. The bathroom was cleaned well, the kitchen was deep cleaned. I celebrated with a lunch of 8 crescent rolls while reading like 5 chapters in Alma, which is soooooo sick. I listened to a bunch of music while pondering, sat on the deck and watched cars lazily drift along. I even made a cake for everyone for when they get home. Though I was sad to miss church, I thoroughly enjoyed my full day off! Haha, good times. 

That's about it for this week. We received 3 new people to teach, currently have 2 on dates. I caught 6 pigs, one goose and one chicken. I've returned to my calling of District Leader and things are just jolly. Rest in peace, Elder Thorne! 

See, I'm the nice guy.

I caught the goose!

Caught another pig today

It's Freezing!

Alright everyone, first off, I goofed and said the wrong thing last week. We didn't read a book called Philippians, we read Philemon. I thought about that all week.

So, I've got my mother behind me all the way, searching left and right for anything to help me sleep. The latest idea is the possibility of me having celiac disease. She's suggested a gluten free diet. It's made for some interesting meals. I once made a cheese casidilla which I felt needed more, so I searched the fridge for some meat. I found my trustworthy hot dogs. I was about to slap them in when my eye grazed the cheese grater which had just served its purpose with my favorite, Colby Jack cheese. I shrugged my shoulders and grated a hot dog. My mother also sent me a snack chest full of gluten free snacks. The plantain chips weren't bad. I'm pretty proud of myself for eating those. I still feel bad not eating a plantain on multiple dates. At least my wonderful date liked them :) well, I scrounge my way through the box and come across an abomination known as cauliflower puffs. *shudders* They are like the telestial version of cheese puffs. I ate one and wanted to throw up. However, I'm not one to quit, so I ate that entire filthy sack of trash. I also ate something that I never thought I'd have again. I swore off peanut butter many many moons ago. Someone gave us a dessert which was basically just frozen peanut butter with nuts. It was quite a shock factor for me to eat that monstrosity. I'd like to continue not eating that ever. Well, that was a really long paragraph on just food. Let's move on. 

More good things are happening here in Deer Park, which I've affectionately named Beer Park. We went out tracting with minimal success. We also just ventured out on the grind hard. We visited a part member family and got down to talking about the good stuff. We set a plan to visit on Sunday at 7. We then slop our way on down to our friend we met at the chili cook off. She was very excited to have us visit her. I guess she is best friends with the previous family, and so she said she would join us as we go on Sunday at 7. We picked up two investigators within 10 minutes. It was nothing short of prime. Not only was it prime, we later found out that this girl would like to be baptized in February! Wow. We also got to hang out with my favorite investigator, the sassy 10 year old girl. She loves having us over, so it's a party. She will be on date for baptism next week probably (meaning she will have a date, not actually baptized.) Her friend was also there, and she loved learned about Adam and Eve and Jesus and stuff, so she said she was going to come to church with us! 

We got to visit the temple this week. It is always a great thing in my book. I have found myself happier than usual. I smiled through most of it and just had a really good time in the house of God. I guess I learned how to actually smile, as demonstrated by my new profile picture on Facebook. It's just great. I'm in a struggle for real, I won't act like it's all good things everywhere. I feel like I am fighting for my own sanity. Maybe that's why I'm so happy. I know that there's no way I can keep it up without Jesus's help. Ether 12:27... His grace is sufficient if you humble yourself and don't give up. Boys. 

We had a primary program this Sunday. It was really special, and it was all about being a child of God. It was really neat, every time before a kid said their part, they said "I am a child of God." It was really special. I am not one to cry, but this one nearly got me. I had to suck in my tears with my manliness. Good gravy though, that ending slayed. It started with the bishop singing the first two lines of the song "I am a child of God" with his two daughters. Then the rest of the primary kids joined in the next two lines. At last, the whole congregation joined and the spirit was so powerful. I had goosebumps traveling up and down my skin like no man's business. It is so special to know we are children of God. Most of the rest of the world doesn't believe it, and here are these 3 year old kids proudly singing it. It is incredible to know, and I often find myself in disbelief, wondering to myself why God cares so much to just keep helping me along in my constant struggles and my fight to be obedient. I am just left with the song "I stand all amazed". There isn't an adequate way for me to explain how blown away I am at the mercy, merits and grace of Jesus Christ. Like really, He is incredible and full of love and infinite patience.

That'll be enough cheese for this week. BYE!! 

Getting cold here

Just me and Donkey

Spokane Temple

To Refuse My Early Fate

I mean, I never thought that I'd be riding in a Rav 4 without a shirt at 60 mph in a rainstorm, but I also didn't think I'd make it this far either, so, what can I say?

Halloween was this week, and three of the four of us received glowsticks in packages. We cracked em up and turned off the lights and enjoyed them for a season. It was then that one of our glowsticks was released into the air and hit me. I hurtled a glowstick back, causing a 45 minute battle to commence. Immediately, we sought refuge with the divider in the kitchen. Shortly after, glowsticks were being lobbed over and wreaking havoc. It became rather intense, and there was a lot of yelling in pain and shock. I hit Elder Thorne in the head enough times to merit a time out so that he could strap on his bike helmet. Elder Herem was also annihilated by my wrath. At the end of the night, I had a welt on the side of my face and my stomach, and both of them had welts over most of their bodies. It was all on all a very fun night. This was all from 9-10:30, of course, so don't go around thinking we were being apostate.

We were moseying our way through the streets as we often do when we went in to see one of our newly obtained people to teach. He bestowed us with the very sad knowledge that his grandfather had four weeks to live. We had the opportunity to share testimony that the plan of salvation is real and that we will be able to see our loved ones again eventually. His mother came home soon after, and she became very invested. Not only did she become a new investigator, but she will have her other 15 year old son be present too. Though the numbers game is nice to play, we are very glad that we can share such an important message with them in such a time of trial. 

If you've been following along, you'd know that Elder Ruth has been very very bad at sleeping for over two years now. Its made things pretty difficult and I usually don't feel too good. I got a call this week from the mission nurse. She was on the phone with the mission president who gave me permission to be honorably released from my mission because of my struggles. I rejected the offer, but it made things hard, knowing that I know had permission to go home whenever I wanted, no questions asked. Well, I'm not dead yet, and so as long as I've got a little fight left in me, I'll keep doing what I can to bring more people to Christ.  I was in a funk for the rest of the day, but when I woke up, I was freed from the haze. 

It rained a whole lot this week. So of course it was this week that we decided to ride a pig. We slopped our way into the pig pen and chased them around until we could catch a monster pig and sit on em. Poor Elder Thorne lasted about half a second before getting bucked off. I lasted about two seconds, but in my defense, these pigs were super wet and we didn't have anything except their ears to hold onto. Because of the cold, I was wearing thermals under my actual clothes. My shirt got pretty gross, my pants were soiled, and my shoes were wrecked. We sprayed us down pretty good, but we couldn't just disgrace the seats of the best car in the world. I shrugged and took my shirts off, along with my Jean's. My thermal bottoms were untouched, so I drove us all back like that. All four of us were yelling because of the bad smell and fists were flying and it was just hilarious. A good hot shower was certainly taken after that ordeal, believe you me. 

So, tell me, my wonderful Christian friends, when was the last time that you have studied the book Philippians from the New Testament? If you're anything like me, it was probably years and years ago. We sit down with one of our people, and she says she really needs to understand what this book says, and she needed our help. I said a prayer in my mind to help me interpret the madness and the Holy Ghost got to work within. We fought our way through with the help of intellect, footnotes and inspiration. As far as I'm concerned, that book is of little to no consequence to us, but we made it, and were then able to share a powerful lesson on your boy, Joseph Smith afterwords. Thanks, spirit. 

I suppose one more notable thing this week could be the ward party we were invited to. There were we, just trying to have a nice time and socialize with some of the non members present when elders quorum president just snatches us right up, claiming us to be the judges of the chili cook off. We were then dragged to the front of the line to taste all of them. Elder Herem experienced hell as he ventured his way through the spiciest beans this side of anywhere. I held up just fine until a couple hours later when my esophagus decided to light itself on fire. We chose our winners and socialized a bit more, then got the heck out of there for poor Elder Herem's sake, whose mouth was still on fire. 

That's enough of the good stuff for this week. The rest of the stuff was ok but worth sharing. Honorable mentions are the good lesson we had with my favorite person to teach, the 7 PM miracle which was actually 8 PM due to day light savings, rebuking another dog, and Elder Herem leveling up his teaching skill multiple times. That'll do, donkey. 

Check out this here dog!

Elder Ruth

I Got My Stuff Together, But Forgot Where I Put It

I realized this week that we are kind of living in the movie "The Sorcerers Apprentice". I'm Balthazar, the mighty wizard who is pretty good at magic and stuff. Elder Herem is Dave, the awkward but happy guy who tries his darndest. It is super funny to watch him and then hear his noise of awkwardness as weird things ensue, and then his awkward cheer of success. If I can change the story just a bit, though, Dave is desperately trying to escape the ladies which persistently email him and Balthazar is still waiting. 

So anyways, there was a man in Coeur d' Alene who went by the name "Popps", and he was a heavy smoker, so he had a smoker voice. He thought it was funny, so every time I saw him, I would say "Ey, Popps." In a smoker voice. I've kinda kept the voice and will use it every now and then upon stumbling on a cigarette. Elder Thorne picked it up rather quickly and we would make fake arguments with each other. I've taken on the name Popps, and I have a vicious ex wife named Tammy. Last night, (and I emphasize this was all just a fun tassle) I just got into bed like every thing was fine until I heard a smoker underneath me, saying "I still love you." So we got into a big fight and a lot of "Shut ups!" Ensued, coupled with desires for annulments and so on. Then, Elder Herem comes out of nowhere, taking on the name "Leo-nard." The fight escalated until I said, "that's it, I've had enough!" And leaned over my bed to start punching Elder Thorne. It was fun and games until I nearly fell off the bunk bed. My faithful foot caught the edge of my bed at the last second. Oh boy, I love being in a four man apartment. 

So there we were, just slopping our way through the city streets when we come across a person and her daughter we had wanted to meet with. We were warmly invited over and we set a date and time to come and share a message. The little five year old brother decided that now would be the opportune time to rear his face. He starts spraying the hose everywhere and attacking and causing all manner of contention. At one point, he obtained a stick and threw it in the air. He kept this up despite his mother's wishes to stop. One of his fateful throws into the air was about to land on his mother, so I leapt into action, smiting the stick out of the air. "Not in my house!" Unfortunately for this boy, my arm followed through and I decked him right in the eye. I felt bad, for sure, but it was also pretty funny! The mom told him it was his fault, and we eventually came back and had a fantastic lesson! It was a great time for sure. I love teaching the young kids. 

The stove in our kitchen is a little new fangled for us old folk. I decided to be a pal and cook up some pigs in blanket for the apartment. I know of a surety that their blood is not on my hands. I watched an unnamed person attempt to set a timer on the stove. A couple minutes before they were supposed to be ready, smoke was filling the apartment. I opened the stove in disbelief. My dogs were blackened with malice! So sad :(

We get the opportunity to do lots of service around here. My favorite one by far is going to a farm and helping with the animals. Three pigs had escaped, so we pranced right in and caught one within the first minute. We used team work on the next pig and caught it shortly after. Don't ask me how, but I somehow singlehandedly caught the last one. We then got to feed them. I felt so happy feeding a cow. I don't know why, but I have always loved being with the animals. We got a picture of me feeding it with a true smile which has inspired me to start up a new thing. You'll see it if you are friends with me on Facebook, but I'll attempt to post a picture every week about one thing which brings me joy up until around Christmas. Things are just good, you know?

We had a neat day yesterday doing some serious work. I wanted Elder Herem to get some experience talking with people, but I didn't want him to get some heavy rejections this early on, so I would knock on the doors of strangers and get slammed on, and I allowed him to knock the doors of established people. I brought him to one door and I made him think we didn't know who it was. The woman was super nice and she was actually willing to have us teach her and their family. He even gave them a Book of Mormon. I was in awe at the very end when we obtained her name. This wasn't someone who had met with us in the past. It was a semi new move in, and Elder Herem helped us pick up a family! He sure does make me proud. He will be better when he reaches 14 months than I am currently. Keep up the good work, my son! 

In our missionary work, we rarely get off without just absolutely weird situations. We knocked on a members door who took us by the hand and almost dragged us to her neighbors clear up the street because she walked so fast. The little boys answer the door and she kinda just barges right in, still dragging us. I felt so weird, being put right into my spot on a foreign couch. We were then instructed to teach. I briefly told the boys that God loves them and their families can be together forever, and that we had to go because their parents weren't home. So, I mean, the boys were somewhat interested, but I feel like we witnessed some crime or something! I plead my innocence, we were dragged. 

That's what I've got to share for this week. It's getting colder for sure, and that sun is ditching quicker and quicker. I guess we better just "let our light so shine"! Great things are happening, I'm going crazy because of how good Lexi Walker is at singing, how good Elder Herem is becoming, and how little sleep I'm getting. It's the best. I love it.

Right on!

Llama from last week

Us Elders

The Bug Battlefield Continues

This week had many good things, and so to all 5 of you who read my emails, I won't waste any further time. Let's get down to business. 

So this lady calls us up one day, saying that a legion of pigs had escaped their pens and she needed help catching them and returning them back. We slop our way down the boons and pull into a farm which smelled like the days when I worked at HeeHaws farm. Instantly, two geese flare their wings and start to hiss. Elder Herem got scared and started to run, which caused them to engage. I quickly intervened and spread my wings and chased them back to the depths. Little would I know that for the rest of the day, they would cause us grief. 

So we get down to business, looking around for these greasy sons of guns. I couldn't help but feel like the legendary hero Link, trapped in a sidequest to get a piece of heart or something. They are pretty cheeky buggers, but with some teamwork we caught the first pig in minutes. We then fell into a dryspell for a while. Eventually, we couldn't find any until we perused past the horse pen. The pigs had retreated there, hiding amongst the horses and llamas. Me and my boi Elder Thorne climbed into the arena. We just stroll like no man's business across town when he speaks up, "Elder Ruth, stop!" I freeze and he points. "That llama is staring at you. If it drops it's ears, it's going to kill you." I cautiously escaped its line of sight and we continued onward, herding the pigs to a corner. They all bolted for a small hole in the fence, but there were too many of them, so we snatched up another pig, ending our bad luck. At one point, I was on my hands and knees, and one of those geese comes up behind me and tries to attack. I lightly kicked it's face away, but it came back for more, so I headshotted it with a pebble and then chased it away. I guess there isn't too much more heroic stories in the pig catching, but we ended up catching about 17 pigs, got intimidated by a Llamas death stare multiple times, started a stampede in the horse pen and I caught a pig in a sweet dive. I only bled from two places.

We were all busied up in our weekly planning session when I strongly felt that we needed to go outside and visit some lady. We go to the address and it's a trailer park! We didn't have the trailer number. We walked around and I was able to sense which home was hers. We knocked a couple times and she wouldn't come. Just in case, we walked around and I scouted one other potential trailer. No one answered that one either. We returned to number one and knocked again, no cigar. I figured we should just leave, but Elder Herem felt very strongly we should return to number two. Since we had already knocked three times on it, I said to him "ok, I'm only letting you knock it this once, so make it count." He kinda sighed to himself and started to pump himself up. I thought it was kinda weird but didn't complain. Well, my wonderful companion warms up and administers a falcon punch to the door! I was so shocked I kind of just froze. Some old lady shouts, "who is it??" And we shyly say that it was the missionaries. "Not at this time of night!" She cries back at 8:20 pm. We called it good and returned back to our weekly planning.

So, if you remember the bug battlefield from last year, raise your hand! I still don't know what these guys are, but they are tiny blue bugs with white fuzz, and they spawn in extremely large units. Last year, I was probably level 6 or 7 when I first faced them, and so I didn't stand much chance, even with my trainer at my side. Well, as you may have noticed, your boi Elder Ruth has leveled up significantly since that encounter. I'm a level 76 warrior now! We went to ride our bikes one day and 20 legions of these bugs appeared out of nowhere. I ducked my head to block them out and rode my stallion straight though the heart of the battle, instantly slaying unheard of amounts of grunts. Left and right they fell, screaming at the loss of their precious brethren. After riding through several streets, we had finally made it to a clearing, where we halted to search for any injuries. Though I was coated with the bodies of an exceedingly many fallen soldiers, I hadn't sustained a single injury. My wonderful companion on the other hand... was coughing from swallowing some, had them all over his face and hair, and just all around got wrecked. His health bar must've dropped to 2 hp.

I decided that we find ourselves currently in need of more people to teach. I really pumped myself up on Saturday night and committed on Sunday to do my best. Sunday rolls around and I was super tired and basically dying, but I already committed, and Elder Herem agreed. We slithered out our apartment door and went from 1:30 to 5:45 just doing straight contacting and tracting. How wonderful were the results of our work. The very first house we knocked was an inactive member with a daughter who he would like to have us teach. He was grateful we found him in the depths of a trailer park. The one was someone in a no soliciting area. Since he had been seen in the past, it was acceptable. We kind of picked him right back up after he told us all about black ops 2, Zelda, and something else. His wife is a less active member and they just had a baby, and so now is the perfect time! Then we shake n bake our way through the empty streets and get invited into the home of a 20 year old brother who loves video games. We had a lot of that yesterday, not gonna lie... But we had a great conversation and hung out with him for a bit and picked him up too! He's pretty excited, actually. Well, we prod down the streets some more and find a former investigator! Well. He has developed Alzheimer's, so we can't really teach him.. But we could at least update the record so future missionaries know. Then, we were headed one direction when I spied a dog in the tall grass, and he was happy. I was eager to show my trainee my unexplainable power over dogs, so I approached and it angrily burst forth. I struck a power pose and it froze. I then made a gesture as if to say "come at me, bro, and it worriedly ran backwards a few feet. Right as I was about to raise my arm to rebuke the dog, it's owner yells at it from several houses down, so we shyly turned away and went the other direction. Straight into the grasp of a less active member who would love for us to teach her 10 year old daughter! Wow! I was a bit doubtful about what I had heard the Mission President say, but the field here truly is white and ready to harvest! And this was all in one day of work. What a great day. 

That's about what I have to say this time around. It was an overall great week. Good things are happening here in Deer Park. Also, I've only seen like three deer. I feel like I've been lied to. 

Behold, the BUGS.

You wanna do this, too

Sunset