Things Keep Looking Up

Another sweet week just slipped right through my fingertips. It doesn't feel like it was very long since last P day. Yet, here am I, ready to rumble and stuff.

So we've got a guy we've been working with for a while. He is pretty close to baptism. However, we weren't fully sure if he was accountable enough to do so. We summoned the Mission President over to meet him, and it has been determined that he can be baptized! Whoot. That'll probably be next Saturday. If we can just get him to recognize the word tithing, then recognize a picture of Joseph Smith and briefly talk about him, he will be fully ready. I'm pretty excited. I figure he is the reason I'm still in Coeur d'Alene. I've done a lot of stuff with special needs people in the past, so it must've been preparing me for this time. Well, I'm ready, so let's do this, boyz.

We went to dinner with one of my favorite member families this week. They are the ones who gave me the rungu and and spear from Kenya. Well, halfway through dinner, one of the boys whispers in his mother's ear and then slides away upstairs. Then he comes down with a rungu and what looks like a flute made of ebony. He hands the rungu to Elder Stepan who was understandably excited, and I get the flute. I curiously turned it around in my hands. This wasn't a flute, but it was cool, and there was what looked like a crack in the wood. It was no crack. I pulled it apart, and concealed in the wood is sweet authentic shank from Kenya. My words were, "Oh? What is--no way!" Ha, I sure was excited. I obtained a new weapon without even trying. 

We finally got to do my silly sleep study nonsense. I had a sensor on my finger and chest and then two lil pipes barely poking into my nose. I was told that if the first night the things don't stay on, tape them on the second night. Sure enough, when I woke up at 1 am, all but the chest sensor had escaped. I wasn't clowning around, so the second night, I strapped everything with duct tape. It hurt the next morning to peel it off my face, and I had marks from it for a couple hours, but the deed has been done! Now we just wait 5-10 business days from Wednesday and we will have... results... But some day eventually something will actually be done about this madness. Thank goodness, because it's getting bad.

We were asked to go visit a member who recently moved into a house with like 3 other people. (Fourplex?) Everything was fun and games until I realized where we were. We were walking into the home of the flakiest former investigator of all time! Well. We still taught the lesson to the member, and he was present for it and we accidentally repicked up this flaky son of a gun. It'll be good though. Perhaps this member living here will now make a difference. Anyways, we set a return appointment and he wasn't there. I'm not all that surprised. 

My favorite service opportunity so far surfaced this week. We were called along with the other elders of the area to go help at a furniture store which will be opening soon. We've ripped apart legions of boxes and I've coated in Styrofoam. We've also been able to put together hoards of furniture. Things are a little more difficult without using power tools, as displayed by my blistered fingers, but we've done a lot. I had great fun hanging out with good ol Elder Stewart and putting stuff together. Some of it required some fancy techniques but we were able to figure out all of the madness. The cool part is, the owners had been praying for some help and then they ran into Elder Stewart who offered it and then invited all of us over. We spent 8 hours total on multiple days doing stuff, and they are now going to be perfectly ready for their grand opening this week.

Things are just going really swell and I think I've been happier this week than I have been in a long time. One evening, I read a card from an old friend and it bummed me out pretty hard, but the next morning, I was back to my cheerful self. Things are going awesome left and right. Despite the insanity that happens often, things are just really good. We haven't had our car most of the week, so we rode bikes around 60 miles. It's the best. I love it. Being in leadership is really good, and things are just swell. That's enough happy weird stuff from Elder Ruth for one week. Just keep those loins girted.

Attack of the white stuff

Putting together furniture

'Nuff said

Sleep Study

Hostage to a Golf Course

Another great week went by with some serious sweet stuff. Probably the second greatest accomplishment of the week happened last week and I neglected to share the good news. That six pound bag of oatmeal I bought a while ago has finally been depleted! 

So anyways, there we were, just gliding across town on our bikes when a wrong turn has been made. I don't fully understand quite how it happened, but we ended up on a golf course and we had no clue how to escape. White balls of death were searing through the air, bringing with them the cry of imminent death. Luckily for us, we weren't wearing our thinking caps. For instead, we wielded our semi trusty bicycle helmets. A paved path twisted and turned throughout the depths of the course, allowing us to frantically peddle our way along, searching for an escape like a mouse trapped in a cage with a snake. Every time we thought we had found the way out, a new obstacle blocked our path. All we wanted was to be liberated, despite the kind manners shown to us by the golfers who launched white pieces of death into the skies with metal rods. After 10 minutes of panicked biking and numerous complaints from our Chevrolegs, we found an edge of the golf course where we were able to breach and taste the sweet air of the streets. What was even better was it was a mere two streets away from the home which we had worked so hard to find. We then got rejected by the home, but, you know. 

So I've got with me a companion who is being trained. I like him to go out and be as productive as possible. Another companionship in my district had someone needing to go to Spokane and they don't have a car. I gladly took the chance to conduct an exchange where my trainee Elder Stepan would have the chance to go out and tract for a while. Meanwhile, I'd be sitting through a doctor visit. We made our way down to Spokane for a visit which lasted five minutes and then cruised our way back up. It wasn't much later when the missions medical people started attacking, informing me to slop my way down to my doctor in Post Falls and sign some papers so my mother could speak with them. We made our way back down and finally got to set an appointment to end the terror that is my sleep madness. Today at 6, I can finally go in and get the sleep study stuff. Thank goodness because I slept like two sacks of trash last night!

Back in light of exchanges, one of my zone leaders was down for the count. They still had appointments to go to, so I offered up my son to go with my dad to appointments while I drove the sick guy to the doctors. After what felt like an entire hour of sitting around while learning about barracudas, he got in and out. We then got the marvelous chance to visit Costco. Those legal drug dealers informed us they'd need some time to formulate the goods. We took the time to raid the free samples and then sat on a leather couch for a short while. It was awesome! Once the drug lords handed over the goods, I explained how to use them before they did. They were surprised at my vigor, and even more surprised that I was exactly right. Dr Ruth, boys. Hire me. 

We were able to have another one of my grandma's baptized this week. (That's what I call the older women who love me oh so much). We waited around for 30 minutes for her friend to show up and then we got into it. She had chosen me to baptize her. I was smart about it this time and brought a change of underclothes. Next time I will be even smarter and bring a towel! It was really good and she was pretty happy to be baptized and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. She and my other grandma have definitely shattered my old belief from the terror days of Spokane, which is that older people will never listen. She's such a great person. She even set us up with 46 packs of chicken flavored top ramen. That's how you know when it's real. 

So that's a portion of the week. Things are going great and the work is really picking up. I have a companion who is really great to be around, a district of awesome people and my zone leaders are the best. I hit my year mark and things are going so good. Plus, pumpkin flavored things have started appearing on the shelves. There's only a couple things that could make it better, but those things can wait until after I get home ;) 

Gird up those loins, boys. 

Baptism!

Mom is so funny

A picture from my Facebook story: Mosiah 13:5
The Spirit of the Lord was upon him; and his face shone with exceeding luster

Not my turn to be sick!

Elder Ruth's Year of Madness

What a week for you and me, but in this email, I won't be talking about your week, because, you know. 

So anyways, I have a new companion and I am really enjoying it. His name is Elder Stepan, pronounced like "I'm steppin up to the madness that is Elder Ruth." He is from Sandy Utah... But he isn't serving here! This man is headed for Madagascar! What the heck? He's waiting for his visa, and while he waits, I've been trusted with the sacred duty to train him. He's already pretty trained, I think, but we are still running through things and boosting his confidence on the streets and doing roleplays and all that awkward stuff. 

There was a day where a guy wanted us to visit him and share with him some scriptures in the bible. We were just too busy that day. We rode our bikes all over the place. On our way back, some members from Seattle pulled over and handed us a fresh Andrew Jackson! They asked us to go get some good dinner. We thanked them and slopped our way straight to the food trucks a little while away, which offered the food of legends. In the parking lot, we stumbled upon the guy we were supposed to be sharing scriptures with! Wow! We shared them real good, then patrolled the trucks, searchin for the dominant food. A cheerful girl greeted us from one of the trucks. We smiled and waved and continued on, because missionaries in public are kind of like celebrities when members see us in public. We were reccomended to go to a bbq truck by someone else. We order the food and the guy goes, "wait, are you the two I met last night?" Because other missionaries tracted into them. I got to share a brief spiritual thought and we were on our way when we decided to go talk to the girl from before. This girl is a member who has been inactive for 9 months. We both bore some pretty fat testimonies to her and got some of her info. She's YSA, so some other missionaries are about to go reactivate a pretty sweet person. I was so surprised at so many things which occurred just because we rode our bikes instead of drove.

I'm afraid it is time for me to now speak about my powerful trainee. On the first morning I had him, I had to send him to some other elders to babysit while I attended a training class for new district leaders. I learned a lot and had a good time and now feel sufficiently prepared to magnify my calling much more than the elders of my past. Well, I group back up with Elder Stepan who tells me that he had just tracted for six hours and loved it. Great Scott!! That's a serious long time to be tracting! Anyways, though he wasn't directly involved, he was present in finding a rad old lady who invited them right in. They then laid down some serious doctrine and set a return appointment. Thus, he helped them get a New investigator on his first day! Sheesh! 

This Saturday, we have the opportunity to have one of our investigators baptized! It's the crazy old lady who argued with me about circumcision. As crazy as she is, I've grown to really like her, she is a whole lot of fun. She has such a sweet spirit and she loves the gospel. It has been a pleasure working with her and I am proud of her.

Me and my boy Elder Stepan decided it was about time we visited a member who lives in an old people home. We asked our ward mission leader to come too. We show up and find her, and she is overjoyed to have us. We had some great conversation and arranged for her to have more people visit. We were about to leave feeling really good about ourselves when another old gentleman slides right into our DM's. He is a high priest and has had some serious sad things happening lately and he had really been hoping to have some visitors. He was ecstatic to hear about our holding of the Melchizedek priesthood. We slithered right into his room and talked for a while, having been his first visitors all month. We then got to give him a blessing. It was great and I am glad we were in the right place in the right time. Miracles are seriously happening left and right. If that wasn't good enough, we then went to an appointment and were gifted with some serious fried chicken! It was difficult to ride our bikes holding the goods at 8 pm, but we sure made it work!

So there's just a portion of the good stuff this week. It's been awesome and I love it. Man. Haha I am so opposite from how I was in December and January. I've come a long way in positivity haven't I? Well, I suppose that's what happens when you do something like hit your year mark. Mine is in three days. I never would've thought I'd go this far when I started. Keep on swimming. And gird up your loins! 

With my new companion

I post a "story" on Facebook a few times a week.  Are you able to view them?

My Madness Finally Explained!

There went my last full week with Elder Glidewell. I received some information that I am very excited about. For a long time, I've been wanting the chance to train a new missionary. On Thursday, I will drive to Spokane and pick up my first son! Yes! I don't know his name or anything about him, all I know is I'm about to have an incredible time! I will be in Coeur d'Alene still. Should be awesome. Me and my boi are about to start doing great things.

This week, we were able to attend the baptism of a wonderful lady, the one I told the story of last week. Not that I ever disclosed her name because our handbook asks us not to do so (AHEM MY OTHER MISSIONARIES WHO SEND ME YOUR WEEKLIES) but I do feel sheepish. I've been spelling her name wrong this whole time! I got to play the piano for her baptism, and then on Sunday, I got to give her the gift of the Holy Ghost. It was my first time doing that. I afterwords asked her how she felt, and she said the moment I started speaking, she felt like she was glowing and she had a deep feeling of love in herself and she still could feel it. Having been confirmed like 11 years ago, I was very interested. Giving blessings makes my faith grow even more, and this was no excuse. 

I have an ongoing joke for my mission called "Elder Ruth the seer". I've been able to accurately predict many things. Either it is dumb luck or inspiration, but I was able to experience it again! We had one of our investigators at a members home. They had little kids, so I explained why we may have the rule to not play in the street. Yesterday, the kids received a huge lecture on that very thing. Then, in the church class I was absent for, because I was on splits, they learned about honesty, and I taught about why telling the truth was of vital importance. And these things happened back to back.

I got the chance to go on exchanges again this week. I got to be in the same apartment as my good ol trainer, Elder Stewart. Unfortunately for me, some crisis or something was going on, and he was the zone leader, so I didn't get to hang out with him at night time. Well. I still wanted to mess with him in some way, so I left a can of tuna on his bed. It wasn't opened, if that's what you're thinking. Then the next day, before I left, I put like five more cans on his bed. Anyways, back to the missionary work, we went on the grind for my first time in a while and did some serious missionary work. We were able to get his wards their first piece of success for about two and a half weeks! I was so glad to see that our work brought miracles! 

So, we have found the reason for the majority of the problems that I have with my life. I don't mean to excuse everything, but I hope this will bring some understanding to my madness. So! We went in to the doctors. They say that everything I describe points to sleep apnea. If this is the case, it is why I am always so tired. This being tired leads to being depressed. It also makes it difficult to focus, which explains why I struggled so much with math, even when I tried my hardest. The apnea also affects my decision making, so some of my dumb mistakes might not have happened if I wasn't affected, and I've had these issues for a little longer than two years. I am beyond excited to have been given a name to my ailment. Because of this, we can treat it. I can't wait to not be tired, depressed and unable to focus! I am almost free:D we just have to wait like a week and a half for the insurance... :p

That's about it for this week. It was smoky most of the time. It's been affecting both of us with headaches and stuff, but we press on nonetheless. Things are going good. Also, I've been called to be a district leader. That is all. 

Our newest member

Keeping me company

Am I strong or what?!

Brett Will Be Missed

So probably the most important part of our entire world is the presence of divine beings. There are heavenly hosts who guide and direct us. There are hellish hosts which do everything they can to drag us to the depths. Using the proper faith and authority, one can call upon the divine beings to alter the world in their favor. The world as I knew it last week was on fire, blasting smoke across the earth. I firmly believe that some of the strongest prayers escape the lips of righteous mother's and Sister missionaries. I don't know about my mother, but I do know that many of the sister missionaries were praying for the rains to grace the earth, eradicating the air of smoke. It was truly a sight for sore eyes to once again spot the mountains of Coeur d'Alene. But then the fire nation attacked and everything's on fire again, the smoke is back, and we are banned from outdoor activities. Argh.

Speaking of outdoor activities, my current favorite activity is to ride my bike. I've never had a brand new bike all to myself outside of a monkey bike and then potentially various toddler bikes, so coming on a mission and receiving one was a big deal to me. I rode it all over the place in Spokane, and now we're averaging around 15 miles a day everyday. We did hit a 25 mile ride one day. That day is the one in particular I wish to speak of. 

It was a smoky day and we were riding bikes. We dropped them off in a safe area while we knocked a few doors. On our way back, I found a turkey feather, since it's not uncommon to see a pack crossing the street. I picked it up and starting conducting a choir. I then spotted a bug I had never seen before. It was completely foreign to me. After prodding it for a while, it climbed aboard my feather and grasped the whispy fibers. We returned to the bikes and I decided that I wanted to bring it along. My hand cramped a bit, but I was able to ride while carrying him on the feather. He held firmly to the gospel, er, the feather, and so I had him for a while. I decided to name him Brett. Brett seemed to really enjoy the wind flowing through his antenna's. Every time we stopped riding, I carried him to a doorstep and held the feather behind me. We'd have a good ol conversation, then move on to the next place. Two hours passed and I still had Brett. One of the people didn't like Brett, so I had to leave him outside with my bike. I was scared of my little buddy getting kidnapped by a bird, but we shared our lesson and returned outside. My faithful Brett remained on his feather! We rode around town for quite a while longer, spreading the good news. He was with me for probably 15 miles! Then, one fateful moment, he let go of one of his hands so that he could itch his face. Brothers and sisters, my man Brett let go of the iron rod, and the temptations of the world were too strong. He fell from the feather to the depths, and no amount of my screaming in despair could ever bring him back. Goodbye... Brett... 

One of the people I had the opportunity to work with is getting baptized this week. It's one of those really sweet people to me. The story goes, it was a cold winter day. The skies were dark, we didn't have people to work with, no one answered the door, and if they did, they were angry. Winter is hard enough on me already, so I told my companion (Elder Stuart I think) that I couldn't keep doing this. We stopped work outside of the next persons house we were going to knock and opened up our area book, scanning through old people missionaries worked with in the past. Too much rejection had happened, and if someone was going to reject us again, it'd be easier if it was over phone than if I could see their face. The first person we called was overjoyed to have been called, so we set something up for like 30 minutes from then and visited her with a member. She was dropped in the past for supposedly not progressing, and it broke her heart to have the missionaries leave. We got in and bore some serious testimony and started with the lessons again. She progressed great and was doing amazing. Sister missionaries swooped in and took her away, then put her on date shortly after. Now, I get to be present for the baptism of this wonderful person, and I'll have the opportunity to give her the gift of the holy ghost. It has been fantastic to get to know such a great person.

We also regained an investigator. I am so glad to have her back. Things weren't working out in the YSA ward, so she's going to keep coming in the family ward. I may have said this already? But the reason I am so proud of this particular individual is that its the only investigator I have singlehandedly received. I was on splits with the ward mission leader, and when we arrived to do his ministering to his member friend, she was there, too. I was asked to share a message, and so I shared a message about the Book of Mormon, committed her to read, then set a return appointment. It was a cool feeling. Though the holy ghost is the real MVP here, It was still cool. 

After lots of quick practice sessions, I had the privilege to perform some sweet music in sacrament meeting. I enjoy doing so because music is a form of testimony and brings the spirit better than I can with my mouth. Well. Despite messing up a few times, I had many people come up express appreciation for the music. Throughout the day, people found me and talked to me about it. I was even surprised to see some of my old investigators from the sister's ward attend. However, the most surprising thing happened when I was in priesthood meeting waiting for it to start. The first counselor of the bishopric extended his hand for me to shake. Well, once this man for hold of my hand, he literally yanked me to my feet and into an unexpected bro-hug. I didn't know what to do, I was too surprised. He whispered in my ear, telling me I was an inspiration and he told his four kids that they need to keep practicing so that they can play like me. It was such a compliment it almost made the pain in my arm go away.

That's just about all the things I can remember for now. I kinda haven't written in my journal for like 4 weeks, so ;) talk to you guys later.

Look, Ma!

Hanging with Elder Stewart

Darling, Everything's On Fire

Anyways, don't walk on the street barefoot because you will die.  Boy oh boy, it's like God's saying, "Oh. Elder Ruth got used to the furnace of affliction somehow. Hm... let's put his furnace of affliction into an even bigger furnace of affliction! Yes!" 

So, it's really hot and I'm still shrugging all this trash right off of my shoulders and onto the smoking pavement. Did someone say smoke? Because there's a lot of that around here. 

It's 105 degrees out there in Dantes Inferno and we have literally nothing on the schedule. I'm not going out tracting for 8 hours in such blazing heat, I'm not a mad man! But... I will ride my bike! We threw that dirty Corolla right into it's place, whipped out our ChevroLEGS and pedaled all around town. Some serious biking was going on. It took the majority of the day to do somewhere around 28 miles. I was surprised to be blessed with much more success than usual. We met a less active family without warning and were promptly invited back for dinner the next day. Boys! They made the most incredible brisket and potatoes and stuff. We shared a great lesson and it was fantastic. We also helped fix up a sprinkler, met with a ward mission leader, received like 3 referrals and set up some serious lessons for the next few days. What started out as a procrastination to tract ended up in a great success. It was actually a really good day.

So, sometimes God answers prayers directly, sometimes he sends an angel instead. Well. I was really hungry and my exchange companion asked if I wanted to go to McDonald's or Burger King. I laughed at the silly question and we drove like 7 miles away for Burger King. There, we got the family bundle which gives you each a big burger and a regular cheeseburger, two small fries and two small drinks each. Well, I suddenly wasn't so hungry anymore. We drove away and I sniped out a hobo on the streets. I proudly gave her some fries. We were about to drive away, when I feel the weight of a cheeseburger on my leg. "Wait." I softly spoke. I reached through the bag and handed her what had been on my mind the entire day. I then remembered that I had two drinks. She got my Sprite too. All I can say is, dang. I was sent across town to give her a full meal. 

We had a lady I had the chance to work with on date for baptism this Saturday. Her date has been pushed back to the 25th for reasons unknown to me. However, I'm looking forward to that day. There's a nice story which goes along with her. I'll share it next week. Anyways, she is getting baptized by the ward mission leader who is one of her best friends, and she chose me to confirm her in church. Sweet! She doesn't know Elder Glidewell very well, but she didn't want him to feel left out, so she's chosen to let him give a talk. Haha. 

I Initially didn't want to share this story because it's a bit gross, but, you know, too late. So I went to the bathroom, and I flushed the toilet thinking I got off Scott free. Nay, Lord! For this son of a gun was clogged. *pre clogged, I may add, I didn't do it*. So anyways, my eyeball grazes that dirty toilet plunger in the corner. I got to work, plunging and plunging while listening to some priesthood pumpup music. It didn't work, and the situation was becoming worse. I pushed sweat from my eyes and called upon my lifeguard skills. I adjusted my body position and it was now as if I was performing CPR. I did 30 pumps just like my training, but no cigar. Another 30. Nope! I then did 50 in a row. Whatever manner of devil had clogged our toilet was really fighting me. It was inconceivable. I then yelped as the water level rose above the bowl and proceeded to flood the bathroom. How was this even happening!! I shut the water off prior! Well, let me tell you, this toilet was relentless. There was a large metal bowl on the ground. I did what needed be done. The ship was sinking and the water had to be returned to the depths before it was all over. My feet shuffled to avoid touching the overflow and I urgently scooped this nasty water into the depths of the bathtub. My companion decides it would be a good idea to film, so I abandoned ship to chase him with the plunger until he deleted the evidence. I then returned to the bathroom with a locked door, fighting the desperate fight. What was even happening?!

So anyways, after a battle, the situation was stabilized and it was safe to retreat. I mopped the bathroom floor and bleached the bathtub. Somehow, by the grace of God, the toilet was now working again.

Or so I thought. Elder Glidewell used it, restarting the terrible fight. I couldn't believe it. Earth and hell had combined against me. I didn't beat that toilet, I only made it angry. I held it at bay with a plunger when an ungodly growl sounded from the pipes. I look at the bath tub in terror and what do I see? It has joined the fight! Repulsive water is breaching the drain. What's going on?! I switched priorities and plunged the tub. It went just great and it revived the toilet. Torrents of frustration attacked. "Master! Carest thou not that we perish?" Five minutes later, the storm was rebuked and the hazardous conditions were stabilized. I was then given the chance to escape on exchanges. Everything's fine, they'll fix the toilet. I had a fun time in another ward, hanging out with my first companion and stuff. 

Well, we get a call at like 9:30, and I have Elder Glidewell ask me if I think pouring antifreeze down the toilet would fix the problem. I about face-palmed my head off. They battled hard, using a coat hanger to try and unclog the toilet to no avail. The day passes and I returned to the fray. This time, we were given the catalyst of victory to bring to the battle. Draino! The toilet laughed, thinking it had beaten authorized servants of the Lord in a battle of endurance. I laughed back and we slopped that extremely hazardous junk down the drains. 20 minutes later, we scorched the toilet with boiling water, stunning it long enough to flush without its consent. That flaming water spiraled down the pipes in the perfect shot, like Luke Skywalker in episode 4. "Great shot kid, that was one in a million!" Thus ended our 36 hour battle with a level 40 toilet. I definitely leveled up after this fight. 

So yeah. I hope you liked that story... it's all true. I don't even know why I'm not fully insane yet. This is merely a portion of the madness I was put through. All in all, it was a fun week. We found two new investigators and handed them both to YSA (dang it) taught a handful of lessons and continued on in the fight for justice. Talk to you guys later!

Will ye give to an humble servant of God something to eat? -Alma 8:19

An investigator gave me this to add to my collection

Homemade BBQ Sauce? I'm In Trouble!

As each week passes by, so too does more of my sanity. But enough of that. Gird up your loins boys, and we'll go on a verbal adventure that is the calamity that is my week. 

So one of the investigators who is an eternigator that I worked with in 3rd ward gave me some exciting news. She has agreed to be baptized, and it's in two weeks. I will be present for another person I taught being baptized. I was present for probably 80% of the lessons before those sisters snatched her right out of my fingers. She wants to do it at the lake. If this is a reality, I so hope she chooses me to do it! 

So, I guess I realized that part of my missing sanity is unknown to the majority of you, assuming you even read this... wink... but one of the guys who I baptized died a couple weeks ago. But I've just about fully recovered from this shock. I bet he is doing pretty awesome, teaching the gospel to other people on the other side of the veil. He was a great guy, and I liked him a lot. 

A few days ago, this UPS driver is about ready to leave the complex when he stops us, asking who we were. Then he hands me a bag that would soon begin to haunt me. Within were some grainy white poweresque demons known as magnesium. Now, according to Journey to the center of the Earth, this stuff is highly explosive. I can confirm it's truth, though not by fire. It says on the container to take 2 teaspoons of it twice a day, it'll make you sleep better. I mixed it up real good with my lemonade and everything is fine. I then pounded that stuff and whipped open my email. Mom warned me a few days back to work up my tolerance to this devilish substance or I'll be spending my time in the bathroom. I dropped my head in annoyance. My fatigue had taken my memory of this warning from my brain. Well, anyways, nothing bad happened to me the entire day. I couldn't believe my luck. Maybe I just had a tolerance already because of all the bananas I eat? Well, I continue on, dropping it into my beverages like no man's business only to find out that it was by the grace of God that I was saved, but now that I had a knowledge of my mistakes, I was held accountable and forced to pay the price. What have I done? 

A longgg time ago, I went to the doctors for my bad sleep. Those clowns told me that id be called shortly by the sleep people to set an appointment. Well, my fellow people, i got the call 21 days later. This would've been fine if they set the appointment for the next week. No, I have to, ahem, get to wait for August 22nd. What's going on? The day I received that news was the day that I received 2 and 1/2 hours of sleep. I fell asleep twice in the first 5 hours of the day. But I got to mingle with the Mission President who caught word of my extreme struggle. He told me that if i needed to talk, he'd speed down to Coeur d'Alene from Spokane to talk within 5 minutes, because his car doesn't have tiwi, the angry tracker which yells at us when we drive too fast. When he was assured I was ok, he told me to let him know if I start going crazy again, he'd try a wrestling move called "the sleeper" on me. I told him I would beat him in the name of the Lord. So that sums up my relationship with him. Haha. 

One day, we decided to just cruise through the boons on an adventure. Our gps had a great idea and led us down some crazy trail in our Corolla. It was all fun and games until a hidden dried river sneak attacked the trail and our car took a heavy hit. "AGGRESSIVE DRIVING!" "Shut up, tiwi". So, the front of the car looked as if it had taken some serious damage. I was so upset with the boons that we retreated to safety where we actually did some serious missionary work. Then at the end of the day, I assessed the damage and realized that this was something I could fix. It took some comparing with other parts of the car and two different work sessions, but I was able to put the car together back to its original state, just like Joseph Smith and the Church of Jesus Christ. Boys. Unlike that scenario, however, our corolla does have two scratches on the bottom of the car in the paint. However, my hands were guided and I fixed that son of a gun right up. Since the check engine light never erupted, we can assume we're good! 

We had the opportunity to do some painting for a family who is moving out soon. One of the bedrooms was described as pepto bismal pink. We got to work painting it a celestial white color. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it until a drop of paint betrayed it's brethren and me and leapt right into my eyeball. Oh, the weeping and the wailing and the gnashing of teeth that ensued. That all happened internally of course, but it did hurt! The member said to me, "What, your eyes aren't white enough?" My dry humor came in clutch, saying, "nah, they're pretty red from lack of sleep, so."

My oh my, someone almost beat the salmon with salmon gravy for nastiest meal ever fed to me. I knew right off the bat that something was afoot when they heard I was from pleasant grove, because they whipped out a large collection of doterra oils, saying it could heal everything. They grab this crock pot covered in tin foil from the depths of their rv, slap it to the table, and get ready to send my tastebuds across the world. Let me tell you. They didn't have any bbq sauce and so they chose to make some, and they did it with mustard. How they did that was beyond me, but believe you me, this was no bbq sauce. I don't even know what this food was called! It had a few beans, followed by legions of pickles and onions and many foreign items of terror. It kinda smelled like gasoline. I take my first bite and my thoughts are "wot did I just put into my mouth??" Anyways, they didn't give us water, so we had to choke it down dry. These seagulls start flocking up and all I can think is "Please, seagulls! Take it!" It was so bad that I gagged pretty significantly when no one was looking. I fought my way through a couple more spoonfuls before my body was done. I gagged so hard that it literally hurt me, and I was stuck clutching my chest. "Is everything Ok, Elder Ruth?" Oh, nah, it's ok. I'm just having my acid reflux. "Oh! We have just the thing." *yanks out a bottle of digest-zen* so that was pretty bad. And I'm not messing around, Elder Glidewell couldn't eat it either. *shudders* that oil smelled like black licorice and tasted like dirt. Looking back on it, im not sure it helped me feel better, but good on them for trying to help a guy out. 

That about wraps up the goods this time around. Other than that, we rode our bikes around at least 5 miles a day, and one day, we did 15. So things are good. I'm not dead yet. I continue fighting, and I am tired as heck. Pray for my sleep, cuz y'all gone make me lose my mind up in here. 

On my bike

Can I keep him?

My backyard