Anyways, don't walk on the street barefoot because you will die. Boy oh boy, it's like God's saying, "Oh. Elder Ruth got used to the furnace of affliction somehow. Hm... let's put his furnace of affliction into an even bigger furnace of affliction! Yes!"
So, it's really hot and I'm still shrugging all this trash right off of my shoulders and onto the smoking pavement. Did someone say smoke? Because there's a lot of that around here.
It's 105 degrees out there in Dantes Inferno and we have literally nothing on the schedule. I'm not going out tracting for 8 hours in such blazing heat, I'm not a mad man! But... I will ride my bike! We threw that dirty Corolla right into it's place, whipped out our ChevroLEGS and pedaled all around town. Some serious biking was going on. It took the majority of the day to do somewhere around 28 miles. I was surprised to be blessed with much more success than usual. We met a less active family without warning and were promptly invited back for dinner the next day. Boys! They made the most incredible brisket and potatoes and stuff. We shared a great lesson and it was fantastic. We also helped fix up a sprinkler, met with a ward mission leader, received like 3 referrals and set up some serious lessons for the next few days. What started out as a procrastination to tract ended up in a great success. It was actually a really good day.
So, sometimes God answers prayers directly, sometimes he sends an angel instead. Well. I was really hungry and my exchange companion asked if I wanted to go to McDonald's or Burger King. I laughed at the silly question and we drove like 7 miles away for Burger King. There, we got the family bundle which gives you each a big burger and a regular cheeseburger, two small fries and two small drinks each. Well, I suddenly wasn't so hungry anymore. We drove away and I sniped out a hobo on the streets. I proudly gave her some fries. We were about to drive away, when I feel the weight of a cheeseburger on my leg. "Wait." I softly spoke. I reached through the bag and handed her what had been on my mind the entire day. I then remembered that I had two drinks. She got my Sprite too. All I can say is, dang. I was sent across town to give her a full meal.
We had a lady I had the chance to work with on date for baptism this Saturday. Her date has been pushed back to the 25th for reasons unknown to me. However, I'm looking forward to that day. There's a nice story which goes along with her. I'll share it next week. Anyways, she is getting baptized by the ward mission leader who is one of her best friends, and she chose me to confirm her in church. Sweet! She doesn't know Elder Glidewell very well, but she didn't want him to feel left out, so she's chosen to let him give a talk. Haha.
I Initially didn't want to share this story because it's a bit gross, but, you know, too late. So I went to the bathroom, and I flushed the toilet thinking I got off Scott free. Nay, Lord! For this son of a gun was clogged. *pre clogged, I may add, I didn't do it*. So anyways, my eyeball grazes that dirty toilet plunger in the corner. I got to work, plunging and plunging while listening to some priesthood pumpup music. It didn't work, and the situation was becoming worse. I pushed sweat from my eyes and called upon my lifeguard skills. I adjusted my body position and it was now as if I was performing CPR. I did 30 pumps just like my training, but no cigar. Another 30. Nope! I then did 50 in a row. Whatever manner of devil had clogged our toilet was really fighting me. It was inconceivable. I then yelped as the water level rose above the bowl and proceeded to flood the bathroom. How was this even happening!! I shut the water off prior! Well, let me tell you, this toilet was relentless. There was a large metal bowl on the ground. I did what needed be done. The ship was sinking and the water had to be returned to the depths before it was all over. My feet shuffled to avoid touching the overflow and I urgently scooped this nasty water into the depths of the bathtub. My companion decides it would be a good idea to film, so I abandoned ship to chase him with the plunger until he deleted the evidence. I then returned to the bathroom with a locked door, fighting the desperate fight. What was even happening?!
So anyways, after a battle, the situation was stabilized and it was safe to retreat. I mopped the bathroom floor and bleached the bathtub. Somehow, by the grace of God, the toilet was now working again.
Or so I thought. Elder Glidewell used it, restarting the terrible fight. I couldn't believe it. Earth and hell had combined against me. I didn't beat that toilet, I only made it angry. I held it at bay with a plunger when an ungodly growl sounded from the pipes. I look at the bath tub in terror and what do I see? It has joined the fight! Repulsive water is breaching the drain. What's going on?! I switched priorities and plunged the tub. It went just great and it revived the toilet. Torrents of frustration attacked. "Master! Carest thou not that we perish?" Five minutes later, the storm was rebuked and the hazardous conditions were stabilized. I was then given the chance to escape on exchanges. Everything's fine, they'll fix the toilet. I had a fun time in another ward, hanging out with my first companion and stuff.
Well, we get a call at like 9:30, and I have Elder Glidewell ask me if I think pouring antifreeze down the toilet would fix the problem. I about face-palmed my head off. They battled hard, using a coat hanger to try and unclog the toilet to no avail. The day passes and I returned to the fray. This time, we were given the catalyst of victory to bring to the battle. Draino! The toilet laughed, thinking it had beaten authorized servants of the Lord in a battle of endurance. I laughed back and we slopped that extremely hazardous junk down the drains. 20 minutes later, we scorched the toilet with boiling water, stunning it long enough to flush without its consent. That flaming water spiraled down the pipes in the perfect shot, like Luke Skywalker in episode 4. "Great shot kid, that was one in a million!" Thus ended our 36 hour battle with a level 40 toilet. I definitely leveled up after this fight.
So yeah. I hope you liked that story... it's all true. I don't even know why I'm not fully insane yet. This is merely a portion of the madness I was put through. All in all, it was a fun week. We found two new investigators and handed them both to YSA (dang it) taught a handful of lessons and continued on in the fight for justice. Talk to you guys later!
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| Will ye give to an humble servant of God something to eat? -Alma 8:19 |
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| An investigator gave me this to add to my collection |
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