What a week packed of madness. Most things that could go wrong did go wrong. The sun was screaming in anger and my mind was rapidly losing its sanity. And yet, here am I, my friend. Still alive and probably ok.
My bike tire went and got popped real good many moons ago. This week was the week that I decided that this was unacceptable. We slopped our way down to Wal-Mart and bought a 29 inch slime tube so that the next time it decides to end it's life, I'll be ready for it. We got back to the apartment and I got to work, taking off that dirty tire. Unfortunately for me, the tire is pretty modern and new fangled. It sure took a while before I came across a critical error. This rim demands presta valve tires, normal ones won't work. Dang! So the next day, we slithered over into a different bike store and got a 29 inch inner tube. We returned to my bike and I got to work on this new fangled piece of junk, only to realize yet another critical error. Does anyone remember the conspiracy theory hobo in Spokane who stopped me in the streets a lot? He convinced me that 29 inch tires are the best, and so I've gone most of my mission thinking mine were 29 inch. These dirty tires be 27.5! Augh. So we shuffled our way back over, traded the tube, and I got to work for real.
About 5 minutes in, a crazy lady with an Elvis tattoo on her arm, whom I call Bunion Pam, graced us with her presence. It took me like 15 minutes, but I got the tire on while listening to some gnarly stories, as her name may imply. Job well done. Unfortunately, this was the back tire, and I've never fixed a back tire, so I didn't know the tread could be messed up. We endured another 10 minutes of stories in the blistering heat until the tire was all fixed up and she went to her apartment to get some iced tea.
This heat is actually awesome. I prefer it over 40 degrees and lower. Not only does the sunlight make me feel awesome, it also obligates people to Invite us in. Some of our Investigators are flaky as all get out, but they won't turn us down when we are dying! Whoo!
Our crazy old lady who is one of my favorites hasn't told anyone that she is on date to be baptized. Then in sacrament meeting, she asked me if I thought she should tell people. I shrugged my shoulders, so she used her Outside voice to inform the congregation she's getting baptized during the sacrament. I may have cringed in magnificent proportions, but the other people around her were very excited and happy for her. This'll be good. That takes place on September 1st, by the way.
One day, me and Elder Glidewell had gotten into an argument on something we had studied on. We agreed to disagree, but then every 20 seconds he would bring it back up. I was getting very annoyed with his persistence, especially since I had asked him to stop. 15 "stops" later, I warned him that his white shirt would be smitten if he didn't stop. He didn't stop, so I rose to smite with a syrupy fork. This man begged mercy, and thus mercy was granted. However, he returned to his old ways. This is the story of why I chased him around the apartment for 5 minutes. Anyways, his shirt is fine, there's no sign of my favorite Canadian product.
Sleep is something that I am fond of, especially since it's a rare luxury. There hasn't been much of it for me in, oh, about two years. I've got a diffuser with lavender which knocked out Elder Glidewell in the middle of the afternoon. Mom sent me some sleeping lotion. She also sent sleepy time tea. I've also got some sleeping pills. I thought for sure that quadruple sleep aids would finally grant me one of my greatest desires. Nah, man. I am going insane.
On one of the days where I was on the brink of insanity, I was told about the basement of the church. I didn't even know we had one! We located it, but the stairwell was behind a locked gate. We hopped the gate and I got a tender mercy. There are rocks that people paint pictures on and hide all around the city. I've been wanting to find one ever since I heard of their existence. I found one on the stairs! Yes! So we made our way down these stairs to get rejected for a locked door. Alohamora! (Harry Potter spell) I used my church key real good and we were inside the depths of winter. Hence, we didn't stay long, but it was a nice 5 minute break from work.
I might get to attend a wedding in a couple weeks! Two of our investigators want to be baptized, but they have two kids together and so they need to marry first. They thought that having children means that you're automatically together. They have agreed to be married civilly. They'll be getting married on a Friday, baptized Saturday and receive the holy ghost on Sunday. I am ecstatic. I've always wanted to have this situation ever since I saw it on The District, a reality tv show for missionaries that you watch in your training.
We said goodbye to two of my favorite investigators. Those sister missionaries who came to Coeur D'Alene snatched up more than half of our guys, and then these two moved into their ward. Why?? So anyways, we had a wonderful pass off lesson with a strong spirit. They may be very different from elders, but I've got some mad respect for Sister missionaries. They sure know how to teach with power. Now they'll be taking 3-4 baptisms we were about to have. Oh well.
So there is just a sliver of the madness that was my week. As crazy as it was, it was still awesome. I've been having a blast. Very few things would make it even better, so we're doing awesome. Here's a good ole scripture which I like. Alma 4:13 I challenge you to read this verse. I love it because it shows that even when life sucks, it can be awesome if you stop thinking of yourself and serve others.
So one more story I'd like to share. As a missionary, I don't have all that much money, especially since Glidewell always wants to go get food at a restaurant instead of at our fridge. I was blessed with the knowledge that I could afford my favorite chips which I hadn't purchased in 3 months. They were wonderful, a true gift from heaven. I ate 3/4 of them in one night because I have issues. I wrapped them up pretty good and placed them in a box I have next to my desk. I was mortified the next afternoon to whip em out and see that some incredibly selfish ants breached the apartment and then the bag and were scurrying their idiotic bodies all over my chips! Mixed tears of fierce anger and sadness overcame me. I took the whole bag out to the porch, shoved it in a cinderblock and lit it up. The flames signified the loss of one of my favorite things. It was devastating. Thus marks the end of my bonus story.
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| This is why we are here |
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| Death to the ants |
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| Fixing the tire |
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| Tag picture for mom |
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