Y'all gone make me lose my mind

What a week packed of madness. Most things that could go wrong did go wrong. The sun was screaming in anger and my mind was rapidly losing its sanity. And yet, here am I, my friend. Still alive and probably ok.

My bike tire went and got popped real good many moons ago. This week was the week that I decided that this was unacceptable. We slopped our way down to Wal-Mart and bought a 29 inch slime tube so that the next time it decides to end it's life, I'll be ready for it. We got back to the apartment and I got to work, taking off that dirty tire. Unfortunately for me, the tire is pretty modern and new fangled. It sure took a while before I came across a critical error. This rim demands presta valve tires, normal ones won't work. Dang! So the next day, we slithered over into a different bike store and got a 29 inch inner tube. We returned to my bike and I got to work on this new fangled piece of junk, only to realize yet another critical error. Does anyone remember the conspiracy theory hobo in Spokane who stopped me in the streets a lot? He convinced me that 29 inch tires are the best, and so I've gone most of my mission thinking mine were 29 inch. These dirty tires be 27.5! Augh. So we shuffled our way back over, traded the tube, and I got to work for real. 

About 5 minutes in, a crazy lady with an Elvis tattoo on her arm, whom I call Bunion Pam, graced us with her presence. It took me like 15 minutes, but I got the tire on while listening to some gnarly stories, as her name may imply. Job well done. Unfortunately, this was the back tire, and I've never fixed a back tire, so I didn't know the tread could be messed up. We endured another 10 minutes of stories in the blistering heat until the tire was all fixed up and she went to her apartment to get some iced tea. 

This heat is actually awesome. I prefer it over 40 degrees and lower. Not only does the sunlight make me feel awesome, it also obligates people to Invite us in. Some of our Investigators are flaky as all get out, but they won't turn us down when we are dying! Whoo! 

Our crazy old lady who is one of my favorites hasn't told anyone that she is on date to be baptized. Then in sacrament meeting, she asked me if I thought she should tell people. I shrugged my shoulders, so she used her Outside voice to inform the congregation she's getting baptized during the sacrament. I may have cringed in magnificent proportions, but the other people around her were very excited and happy for her. This'll be good. That takes place on September 1st, by the way. 

One day, me and Elder Glidewell had gotten into an argument on something we had studied on. We agreed to disagree, but then every 20 seconds he would bring it back up. I was getting very annoyed with his persistence, especially since I had asked him to stop. 15 "stops" later, I warned him that his white shirt would be smitten if he didn't stop. He didn't stop, so I rose to smite with a syrupy fork. This man begged mercy, and thus mercy was granted. However, he returned to his old ways. This is the story of why I chased him around the apartment for 5 minutes. Anyways, his shirt is fine, there's no sign of my favorite Canadian product.

Sleep is something that I am fond of, especially since it's a rare luxury. There hasn't been much of it for me in, oh, about two years. I've got a diffuser with lavender which knocked out Elder Glidewell in the middle of the afternoon. Mom sent me some sleeping lotion. She also sent sleepy time tea. I've also got some sleeping pills. I thought for sure that quadruple sleep aids would finally grant me one of my greatest desires. Nah, man. I am going insane. 

On one of the days where I was on the brink of insanity, I was told about the basement of the church. I didn't even know we had one! We located it, but the stairwell was behind a locked gate. We hopped the gate and I got a tender mercy. There are rocks that people paint pictures on and hide all around the city. I've been wanting to find one ever since I heard of their existence. I found one on the stairs! Yes! So we made our way down these stairs to get rejected for a locked door. Alohamora! (Harry Potter spell) I used my church key real good and we were inside the depths of winter. Hence, we didn't stay long, but it was a nice 5 minute break from work. 

I might get to attend a wedding in a couple weeks! Two of our investigators want to be baptized, but they have two kids together and so they need to marry first. They thought that having children means that you're automatically together. They have agreed to be married civilly. They'll be getting married on a Friday, baptized Saturday and receive the holy ghost on Sunday. I am ecstatic. I've always wanted to have this situation ever since I saw it on The District, a reality tv show for missionaries that you watch in your training. 

We said goodbye to two of my favorite investigators. Those sister missionaries who came to Coeur D'Alene snatched up more than half of our guys, and then these two moved into their ward. Why?? So anyways, we had a wonderful pass off lesson with a strong spirit. They may be very different from elders, but I've got some mad respect for Sister missionaries. They sure know how to teach with power. Now they'll be taking 3-4 baptisms we were about to have. Oh well.

So there is just a sliver of the madness that was my week. As crazy as it was, it was still awesome. I've been having a blast. Very few things would make it even better, so we're doing awesome. Here's a good ole scripture which I like. Alma 4:13 I challenge you to read this verse. I love it because it shows that even when life sucks, it can be awesome if you stop thinking of yourself and serve others. 

So one more story I'd like to share. As a missionary, I don't have all that much money, especially since Glidewell always wants to go get food at a restaurant instead of at our fridge. I was blessed with the knowledge that I could afford my favorite chips which I hadn't purchased in 3 months. They were wonderful, a true gift from heaven. I ate 3/4 of them in one night because I have issues. I wrapped them up pretty good and placed them in a box I have next to my desk. I was mortified the next afternoon to whip em out and see that some incredibly selfish ants breached the apartment and then the bag and were scurrying their idiotic bodies all over my chips! Mixed tears of fierce anger and sadness overcame me. I took the whole bag out to the porch, shoved it in a cinderblock and lit it up. The flames signified the loss of one of my favorite things. It was devastating. Thus marks the end of my bonus story.

This is why we are here

Death to the ants

Fixing the tire

Tag picture for mom

Take It Easy, Boys

Well, another week in Coeur d' Alene and things are finally starting to catch fire. We just go outside and there's smoke everywhere. I love it. 

So anyways, we weren't supposed to work in 2nd ward last transfer, but now it is ours. We've only dedicated one day to it so far, but good things are happening already. We first tracted into a less active member who hasn't been in 6 months because of a divorce and some other crap. She really just needed company and help. So we talked with her for a little while, got her to accept some ministering sisters, and then asked if there was anything else. She was extremely doubtful of us, but asked if perhaps we knew a guy who does sprinklers. I know a guy, for I am the guy. I asked her to show us what had happened. Her son ran over one with the lawn mower. (which I've done multiple times. Sorry dad!) I just assessed the damage and told her it's far easier than she thought. I was prepared to dig a trench and cut the pipe and redo it like I had learned in the past. You should've seen her eyes when I simply unscrewed it from the ground, handed it to her, then told her a few dollars at Home Depot and then she'll be set, and she could screw it back in herself. That's our neat little experience of gaining some sweet member trust. 

We've been working with a pretty crazy old lady I've grown fond of. She's just always telling these weird stories and laughing. This week, for the first time in a while, I got to extend the baptismal invitation to her. We now have a wonderful lady getting baptized September first. She is pretty excited.

We've got some sister missionaries who took over 3rd ward, taking more than half of our investigators with them. So sad. But we've been going to each appointment they've had so far in order to pass off the investigators. I was rather surprised Saturday morning when we were doing service for one of my "grandmas". I just rip this tree straight out of the ground, so I look over at the sisters and her on her porch for approval, and what do I see? They are holding hands and crying together! What?? Sister missionaries are so different from us, and I think it's fantastic. I'm sure this lady will be baptized real soon. It was our intent to put her on date in our next lesson, which happened to be this one the sisters robbed us of. So anyways. 

My companion is a pretty touchy dude, and if you know me, you'll know I do not like dudes touching me. One day, he was getting really desperate to make me hug him, but I was a little too busy doing something else. He straight took a can of Old Spice, sprayed the fumes and then lit them with a lighter. I wasn't expected to be attacked by a flame thrower at 9:45 PM! I didn't even know what to do. I whipped out my trusty rungu, seared it through the flames and knocked the can right out of that man's hand. That's the story of how I'm confused about how I still have hair on my hand. 

That's about it for the good stuff this week. I miss my old friends who have been transferred away. I've kinda been here since February. But things are going ok, we are gradually making new friends. I'm excited to have missionaries back here in Coeur d'Alene. The city is no longer ours. Except they live in Plummer because they go to move into their apartment and its got black mold in it. 

Anyways, the church is true and if you've got the faith you can do some pretty sweet miracles. I just can't seem to stress that enough. It sometimes doesn't seem like it is true, but it totally is. I've got plenty of miracles and confirmations that it is. So. Talk to you guys next week! --unless you are one of those blesses souls who emails me on Mondays. I like you blessed souls a lot.

Read This Book!

For the Beauty of the Earth

A treasure find

It's Elder Stewart!  My first companion in the field.  He is now the Zone Leader

Spokane, Washington? Nah, Coeur d'Alene

Man alive, transfers came and I am still here in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. I am also still with Elder Glidewell. I was seriously hoping for the opportunity to train. Oh well. I guess I'll be fine with my companion who is a lot too touchy for me. 

So we had some serious teaching going on this week in the heat. We're talking 90 degrees out in the blazing sun, and let me tell you, I love it. I'll take it over 40 degrees any day. Being cold is one of my greatest pet peeves, so. Yup. We're working hard, beating the heat and carrying on the Lord's work. One guy wanted us to ride bikes out to the lake for a bible study. He cancelled because it was too hot, so me and my man Elder Thorne (because of exchanges) hit the ground on our bikes for two hours. We were able to teach around 20 lessons.

We had a sweet ward party with lots of food and games. I was thrilled to see some of the people we hope to work with. There was a Swedish lady there that we taught many moons ago. We were just trying to have fun and socialize with her until she roped us into a game of cubb (kubb?) Against like 5 kids who knew what they were doing. It's a lawn game where 5 wooden blocks are set up like 20 yards away from you, and you and your partner have 6 wood rods to throw. You have to hit their blocks down and then hit the king block between you and them. I imagined it like throwing knives. With that mentality, Elder Thorne let me down and I hit down all 5 blocks. They told me that since we were winning so badly, I had the hike the last throw at the king like a football. First try, boys. First try.

On one particular day, I was just too hungry to be a missionary, but we were in luck since it was lunch time. I was going to just eat five eggs, but I was determined to get a double yolker. That's the story of how I cooked up 8 eggs for myself, and then leveled up because I ate all 8. 

One evening, we were called over to the hospital to give a blessing. This is a common thing, so I didn't think much of it. The kid just had a real sore throat and the parents wanted to give a blessing. We got there and had to wait for a while because they already whisked him away for surgery. The doctors came after an hour saying that they have to drain an abscess from his neck and remove a tonsil in the process. While we waited for that, we received a call to to give a blessing to a different person! 

A while later, the doctor was like, "everything is fine, but..." and whisked the parents away to talk privately. I was becoming increasingly nervous. We found out that they took the boy's tonsil for nothing and they didn't know what was wrong with him. They came back 30 minutes later saying that both of his kidneys stopped working all together and he was stuck on breathing tubes. 5 minutes later and the news came that he would be life flighted to Spokane. Some nurse spoke up, telling the hesitant doctor that it was vital for the boy to get the blessing. They nervously brought us and his parents over into the top secret rooms and wheeled the unconscious boy into the hall way, telling us that no matter what, in 5 minutes, they are putting him on the helicopter. I was becoming even more scared.  Elder Glidewell anointed and then it was up to me and the Lord. They took the kids hat off and everyone anxiously watched me as I laid my hands on this kid. I know that was not of me, and afterwords is a testament to me that God manifested His power. I watched him fly away in his helicopter, and that was the end of it. I later found out a few days later that his condition improved in an unheard of way and he was no longer in need of the critical care (or whatever is the highest one, I don't remember what). 

So that was the most incredible thing I have been a part of as a missionary. I was scared and nervous, but as I acted in faith, God took care of the rest. I am so glad to have been a part of this miracle.

Those bees from last week were in serious trouble. An old lady walked out of the house and started to leave out the garage. We screamed in desperation for her to halt, but she wouldn't listen and was stung on the eyelid. In her wrath, she obtained wasp spray and handed it to a sister missionary. I took it from her because of her allergies and prepared to put an end to the secret combinations. It was like Star Wars. I sprayed and sprayed and they started to attack in fury. "Stay on target, stay on target!" The spray was attacking my eyes and some bees were charging in a final kamikaze. "Great shot kid, that was one in a million!" I cried in success as the last of the foaming death was administered. The last of the followers of gadianton were destroyed in defense of our wives, our lives and our freedom. *note* I said bees, but I mean wasps.

A member came to us at a very fancy restaurant where we went just to get ice cream. He owns a multi-million dollar home on the lake. He came to all 10 of us, told us to order as much food as possible and eat everything, barf, and eat more. Therefore I got a 35 dollar steak and an 8 dollar ice cream and a 10 dollar shake. He got the total bill for every one and was disappointed in us because it wasn't expensive enough. But he left a tab open for us to get whatever. We were so grateful!  

That's enough of the good stuff for this week. 

At the picnic

Pitbulls love me!

Bees!

This was a good ol week for me! We got to have one of our guys baptized this week with his sister! It was at a pond out in the middle of nowhere. It was terrifying cold, so I wasn't too sad I wasn't the one to do it. This is the kid I taught all the video game lessons to. It was so good to finally see it happen. Afterwords, his dad whipped out his pistols and started shooting off some celebration shots at the torches. It was an unconventional baptism for sure! Whoo!

Time for the fabled story time with Elder Ruth:

A bead of sweat ran down my brow. It was the thick of day and only one place offered shade from the blazing sun. Several wasps angrily guarded the entrance to a garage, threatening to send an army. I took up my weapon, a wooden broom, and approached the battle ground. Immediately, a sentinel raced out to battle. One slash later and it was laying on the ground. Two more warriors fluttered out to me and were visited with death.

"Its too dangerous." Elder Glidewell cried as he hid in the bush.

"Maybe, but they that be with us are greater than they that be with them." I uttered through my clenched teeth. The two most important days in a man's life is the day he was born and the day he finds out why.

I let my a cry and rushed the last few feet, then slammed my broom straight into the motherland. Instantly, the sky was darkened with millions of wasps, angrily searching for my blood. Hordes were slapped left and right until the started to overpower me. I smacked one off my shirt before it administered it's poison.

"Holy Crap!" I cried as I retreated. The angels on my team were not doing their jobs. Once I was far enough away, I observed the miserable scene which lied before me.The front door of home opened up, revealing an amused old woman. "I can not believe you missionary would swear!"

"Huh? I panted. "I didn't swear."

"You said holy crap!"

"Yeah? So did you." I pointed out. She returned to her air conditioned apartment.

So anyways, there's a lot of good stuff going on in Coeur d' Alene. I got to perform my piano song in sacrament meeting in both wards. We attracted 7 investigators to church! Wow! It was very great to see the people we've been working with finally come for the first time. 

I got to go on exchanges with a new missionary earlier. It was a lot of fun being with someone as new as him. It reminded me of myself back then. It is so cool to see how far I've come. It was inspirational for him because he can see that I used to be just like him. I told him that some day he would be even better than he could ever imagine. The future is bright! Just like the field which is ready to harvest. Good thing I just bought a sweet knife! 

I had a new friend email me this week, so I just wanted to say, thank you to everyone who offers me support. I appreciate all of you who do so :)

Transfers are coming up. I really hope I can stay in Coeur d' Alene even longer. We have three more investigators who are ready to be baptized. If I stay, I will witness two sets of investigators getting married! That is one of my biggest hopes now. It'll be an incredible time and it might even have free cake. You know I'm all about that free cake. 

And if you were wondering, 4th of July was just a normal day for us. We still went out and worked hard. I even got sunburned weeding this old ladies garden. So that about sums up what I remember, since I don't have my journal on me ;) see you guys later!

Exchanges

Members to the Rescue

This week didn't have anything too spectacular in terms of missionary work, but there was some good stuff going on. We had around 15 lessons we taught and we spent 7 hours doing service for investigators, such as weeding and moving and stuff.

One of my favorite guys is getting baptized later this day. It happens at 7 pm, and it takes an hour to get to the baptism place. I am so excited in more ways than one. If you don't know why, ask any missionary, and mention that it's P day;) Anyways, this kid is the one who I taught all of the video game lessons to. It was such a fun experience teaching him in this way. He had had many missionaries before then, but we were the only ones who could teach in a way he understood. It is so exciting for him to be baptized. What makes it cooler is that its taking place at a waterfall! What makes it the best is the water is freezing, and I'm not the one baptizing him, his uncle is! Yes! 

We taught some good lessons to the guy who is having memory issues. We even got to take him to a bbq. He is so grateful for us helping him be saved, he is always asking if he can help us in any way. At the bbq, he got to sweep off the deck. He was glowing with pride when he finished his job. It's great working with him.

Last Monday evening, I wanted to bust out the bikes. I threw my music on in my phone and we set out to ride across town. Halfway there and my bike tire decides it would be a great time to go flat, and the pump wouldn't fix it. Dang. We stopped and I told my companion the conundrum, and seconds later, a member saw us and pulled over. Our bikes were thrown in the back and we got a ride back to the apartment where we ditched the bikes and drove the car instead. 

Another member to the rescue was when I wanted us to go to a particular restaurant. Everyone ruled against me and so we headed out to Mongolian bbq instead. As much as I love that place, it was a lot more expensive. When we headed out, we were informed we were anonymously paid for. Yes!! 

So anyways, lately when I get bummed, I've been turning to 2nd Nephi 4. He says that he is sad because of the sins that so easily beset him. I couldn't believe it when I was reading in Alma 7 later and Alma used the exact same words and told how to make things better. I was so grateful at the time. By the way, Alma is so sweet. 

That'll do for this week. Goodbye Everyone! 

Busted Tire

Dinner with an Investigator