So on Monday, I was on exchanges and had the other Elder here in Deer Park. He's relatively new, but I've been around newbies ever since the end of August, so it's all good. Anyways, we slither our way into the home of one of our people who actually kept a commitment! I couldn't believe it. We changed the lesson plan and taught a good one, backed by the spirit. She then accepted a baptismal date of March 23rd. We then slopped our way across the dank foggy streets into the home of a family of two from Iraq. It was wonderful to get to know them and share our beliefs. I guess the woman was so impressed with additional knowledge of Jesus Christ that she said she wouldn't meet until she read a quarter of the book. Apparently she's almost finished it, having started on 3rd Nephi 11. Good gravy. What made the night even better was the fact that this Elder had only taught two other lessons his entire mission, so we doubled his lesson counter in one evening. Boys.
The other Elders taught a Chinese woman and she is being baptized this Saturday. She invited us all over for lunch, so we squeaked our way into the other Elders inferior car and mosyed on down. She had us wear some special slippers as we entered the home, and it made me feel sweet. Then she excitedly sits us down at her table, then slaps down some pretty nasty food for us! We're talking a shrimp salad, seafood soup, stuffed cabbage rolls and more. I managed to pile down some of the shrimp stuff without any shrimp desecrating my plate. I also poured the soup into a bowl and pretended to have some. When she returned to the kitchen, I dumped it all back in and then pretended to finish off the rest of it. The cabbage rolls were manageable, though I had to choke it down with some word of wisdom friendly tea. At this point, I was feeling really sick. I then had some really soggy spring rolls which kind of finished me off. I managed to not throw up, but the other elders at the table heard the noise my stomach made multiple times as it contracted violently. Luckily, she never asked how we liked it. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her and learning more about China and her culture. I then got to interview her the other day, and she is now good to go. We will attend that baptism this Saturday. Whoo!
We do service at the food bank every week, and they had an overload of onions. So much so that they asked us to take bags and bags. We somehow ended up with 300 pounds of onions in the back of our extremely attractive 2017 Rav4. In one day, we bestowed 200 pounds of onions upon many of the residents of Deer Park. Every time we spoke with someone, I asked them, "Would you like some onions?" I don't understand why some people took large sacks worth, but if they're into that kinda thing, who am I to judge? We then got a large box of avocados two days later and gifted them out again. It was pretty awesome, not going to lie.
So we decided that it was time we built a shelter for the pigs at the pig farm. A lot of them don't have any protection from the elements. A neighbor down the road informed us she had some sheet metal we could use for a roof. We shuffled our way down and find out it was a bigger deal than anticipated. It was about 25 feet long, which was too much for us. However, I was determined to succeed, so we managed to fold it in half, stick it as far into the car as we could and then drove a quarter mile with the majority of it hanging out the window. We then got busy, working hard and building the shelter. It may be ghetto, but if it ain't ghetto, it ain't me! It turned out pretty well, actually. We just need to throw some finishing touches on it. So anyways, this brings me to the most traumatizing part of this week. I was told to try and catch an alpaca so that she could give it a shot it needed. I hadn't ever caught an alpaca before, so I giddily pursued it and threw that Johnson into a headlock. The other elders held it down and the shot was given. We were told we could let go, and so I did. In less than a millisecond, that son of a gun bent its neck all the way back and spit RIGHT INTO MY EYES. It was far too quick to react, and so I kinda fell into shock. I had just been shot. I hurried to the snow and washed my face as best as I could. When we got home, I washed my eyes intensely. Anyways, back to the past, once the situation was under control, I threw a snowball at that rude alpaca.
This email is getting long, but there is one more event I wish to share. So I very much so believe in the powers of the best car in the world, the Rav4, and it has not once failed me. We visited someone who hadn't had their place plowed, and they had one of those like mile long driveways and they don't really have a place to turn around. We just flip a U through the deep snow and an awful feeling overcomes me. We were now stuck in the snow, and all wheel drive wasn't saving the day. We did lots of going into reverse and forwards, but it wasn't working well. We got out and shoveled out the car as best as we could, and after a while, we built up enough momentum to blast to freedom! That lasted 2 seconds, and we were stuck again. We repeat the process, get unstuck, bail, and get stuck again. We realize the only way we can really escape is by backing up through our tracks and then build up as much momentum as we can and burst free. However, 20 minutes went by, and we were just so stuck. I called out to God in mighty prayer and got in the car. It budged a bit, but not much. Then I started screaming, "O Babylon, O Babylon, we bid the farewell! We're going back to the apartment to freedom to dwell!" The car nudges further. I start chanting stuff like "I will boast of my God!" As more and more progress is made. After Elder Larson offered a silent prayer unbeknownst to me, the car burst free in a jolt of backwards motion. I throw in as much power as I can get and zip away towards freedom without him. I reached a wide enough area that I spin the wheel and throw down the E-break, drifting my way forward, then threw it into heavy acceleration and we burst from the icy chains of the devil! And then I waited for Elder Larsen to catch up.
So that's enough for this week! We found 4 new people to teach, put someone on date, handed out 200 pounds of onions, taught many lessons and wrought miracles in the name of the Lord. This was anything but a generic week.
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| Me and my favorite cow |
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| Elder Herem at Zone Conference |
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| Ghetto pig shelter |
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